Love Lasts A Lifetime
by YourVampireGirl98
Summary: Edward and Bella married in 1917, then the Flu hits in 1918. Bella thinks Edward died but he really gets changed. Then Bella is attacked. What happens when they meet again in Forks and Edward can't remember her? Slightly OOC
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, everyone! This is my favorite story I've done so far(which is only the seventh/but only my second online) and I hope you all love it too! Just in case it gets kind of confusing for you...(keep reading)!**

**SUMMARY: Bella has just moved to Chicago with her family. The Masen's are hosting a party, and Bella and her mother attend. At this party, Elizabeth and Renee' are far past happy when Edward and Bella fall in love at first sight. Alice, Edward's little sister, quickly becomes Bella's friend, too. Everything is perfect for Bella, she gets a husband, a new family...sister...baby...then it all vanishes. Well, not the sister part. Alice and Bella are turned and find the Cullen's a century later. Who will they see there? DUN DUN DUNNNN. **

**Am I too obvious?(; Haha. Well, please give it a try! **

**xoxoxoxo, yours truly_Alana. (: **

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><p>More social gatherings. Lovely. Just the thing I adore to do. Spending my time, chatting with girls my own age who have nothing to talk to me about but the lads they fancy. I distaste pleasing people who have no intentions but their own riches.<p>

My family is far from wealthy. We are quite poor in our society, but I am grateful for what we have come up with. I have a roof over my head, and get daily meals. The dresses I wear are not the nicest, nor are they the most expensive, but each one of them resemble something important to me.

"Isabella! We must get going now, dear, if we plan on making it there on time." My mother called up to me.

"I'll be right down, mother." I called back.

I stared at myself in the mirror. My hair was folded into a bun on the back of my head, and loose curls framed my pale face. My dress was a creamy white, with lace sleeves and a lace back. Down my skirt was a pale brown design, beautiful in every way. It was the same color of my eyes. Pearls were imbeaded into the neckline. I was proud to say my mother had made it with her own materials. A light forest green design was imprinted within the train and waist-belt.

Walking down the stairs, I heard a collective gasp from my mother. "Isabella, you look darling!" My mother smiled at me, looping her arm with mine.

My mother and I were very close, and I had always trusted her with everything. She is constantly bickering about how I need a gentleman in my life. To me, marriage was something people did for looks. Everyone followed the rules, and did things accordingly to what they are told. I detested following those rules.

"Thank you, mother." I whispered as we walked together out of our house. "Where is father?"

"Dear, this is a tea gathering. Men are not to come. Only Mrs. Masen's son will be attending. She is looking for a young lad for him." She raised her eyebrows at me, grinning like a fool.

My mother and I are very much so alike. When we are alone, we don't follow the rules. Together, we have fun. Women in this society are to follow after men, but together we can be free. Neither of us like rules. We often go out of town for walks, just to be able to say what we feel.

"Mother, they are the richest family in Chicago. Mr. Masen will never be interested in a gal like me. Do not fret and waste your time." I sighed.

She gave me a scolding. "Isabella, you are beautiful! More so than any other rich girl or poor girl. You do not see yourself clearly, darling."

For the rest of the way we walked in silence. It was mid-October, and there was a slight breeze causing leaves to fly everywhere. Colors were dying out, and in this big city, many families started getting ready for winter. The tip of my ears were getting frosty and my nose was as red as a button by now. My mothers cheeks were blistering red, and mine were most likely the same.

Straight ahead, lay the largest house I have ever seen. It was as long as my street going two ways. It was beautiful, and I stared in awe. White pillars stood infront of the red, double doors. The yard was freshly cut and a bright green, though winter was soonly coming.

Suddenly the itch in my leg protested louder than it has our whole stroll, but my mother pushed me along, not letting me stop to itch it. I bit my lip to keep from whimpering. It hurt and only intensified. It made my nervousness that much more worse.

Reminding me to act like a lady and keep a straight back, my mother knocked on the door. Not nearly ten seconds later a beautiful lady with long, bronzed hair opened the door. A smile was placed on her full lips. "You must be Mrs. Swan. It is so nice to meet you. I am Elizabeth Masen. Come on inside, it looks awfully chilly out there."

I looked down as my mother embraced the sincere woman, giving out kind smiles. I tuned them out until I heard my name. Glancing up, I put a soft smile on my face. "And this is my daughter, Isabella."

Then I realized that Mrs. Masen had introduced my mother to her son, who was standing directly infront of me. I gasped quietly.

This young man was a beauty. His hair was a golden shade of bronze, and his pale complexion was a perfect contrast in comparison. His lips held in a wonderful smile, filled with a set of perfectly white teeth. He was tall, with broad shoulders and wonderful hands. When I looked into his eyes, I could feel my knees shake slightly.

Oh, how bright they were! Emerald, the brightest shade of green. They twinkled as I stood gaping, embarrassing myself further. Blushing, I nodded and bent over slightly. Beautiful creatures like this were not supposed to be real.

"I would like to further introduce myself. I am Edward Masen. It is a pleasure meeting you, Miss Swan." He gently raised my hand to his mouth, his lips softly brushing against my skin. A tingling sensation crawled up my arm and through my fingers.

I just nodded and gave a small smile, trying to find my voice again.

After being led around by my mother and getting introduced to what must have been dozens of people, we approached a smaller room with only a few guests. Instantly I could tell these young ladies flawed out their wealth over others. Every conversation quietly dismissed as we drew near.

Beside me, Mrs. Masen introduced us. "As I hold your attention, I would like to introduce you all to Renee and Isabella Swan."

There was a low buzz of greetings to us, but one particular girl walked up and hugged me. Taken back, I stumbled and almost tripped. From behind, a pair of warm hands caught me by the waist.

"Alice, watch where you are going. You almost gave Isabella here a heart attack." The musical voice behind me chuckled. I wouldn't forget that voice to save my life.

Ignoring Edward, who dropped his hands from my waist, Alice smiled brightly at me. "Hello, Bella! Do you mind me calling you Bella? Oh, of course not, who am I kidding? Lovely name. I am Alice!"

I already liked her. Alice did not care what people thought of her. She was herself and herself alone. Being an individual is all a person has, and with rules, that is taken from us. She did not listen to the whispers the other girls murmured, or the stares of their mothers. I respected her for that.

Edward's voice interupted my daydreaming. "Isabella, this is Alice, my younger sister."

My eyes widened. As I looked at her more and more, I could see slight resemblances. Both of them had extremely pale skin, but all the lovely nevertheless. Edward must have gotten his height from his father, as Alice was short like Mrs. Masen. Her eyes were the same sparkling green, and her dark hair reached her chin. She did not have it up like most girls, but down in curls like her mother.

"It's a pleasure, Alice." I smiled, blushing as I took in the scene before me.

Every girl in the room was glaring at me, their eyes slanted. I do not know what was wrong with me. Confused, I looked down to make sure everything was fine. Nothing was different.

"Isabella?" I turned around to face Edward. "Would you take my hand in this dance?"

My mouth popped open slightly. "Oh, thank you for the offer. But I am less cordinated than a chair standing up on three of it's legs."

A soft chuckle escaped his lips. "I suppose it is a good thing that I know how to dance."

I tilted my head sideways, smiling. "Very well then."

Taking my left hand, he glided me out to the center of the room. Soft music surrounded us, and conversations started up again. I gave him a soft smile as we twirled in a circle.

"I must say, Isabella. You look absolutely, stunningly beautiful tonight." He brushed one of his fingers across my hand lightly.

I could feel the blood rush to my face. "Why, thank you, Mr. Masen."

He laughed, and the sound was music to my ears. "Please, I insist for you to call me Edward. Mr. Masen is in another room down the hall."

I laughed with him. "Then in return, please call me Bella. Isabella makes me feel so old."

"It's a beautiful name, Bella. Fitting, for such a beautiful lady."

Our conversation flowed like this for hours. We never stopped dancing, and I soon let my shyness fall. I, of course was polite and acted like a lady, but Edward understood my point of views. He looked from that way, too. We had so much in common, so much to tell.

He had told me about his piano skills, and I told him I loved to sing. That had been something I never told anyone before, and it frightened me that this stranger was able to speak like we've known eachother for years.

I had only met this beautiful man today, what I am thinking? Then again, my mother and father only knew each other for a few weeks before getting married. Married? Oh lord, I pity myself. So naive and blind. He was obviously just being a gentleman for his mothers sake.

A familiar hand tapped my shoulder, cutting off my laugh. I glanced back, seeing my mother and Mrs. Masen, standing behind us, not bothering to hide their smiles. Alice stood off to the side, saying goodbye to the last person in the room. Had all the guests left?

Seeing the question in my eyes, Mrs. Masen answered for me. "Yes, all our guests have been gone for quite some time now. You and Edward were too occupied, so we did not fret to aware you."

My mother giggled, her joy radiating. "Isabella, we must get going, dear. Say your goodbyes and meet Elizabeth and myself near the door.

"Yes, mother." I whispered, turning around. I did not speak until they were out of hearing range. "They seem happy."

Edward's brilliant laugh filled the room. "Oh Bella, you do not see yourself clearly."

"My mother frets over that, telling me that same line quite often." I bit my lip, looking down.

His soft fingers brushed my chin, gently pushing my face up to look him in the eye."Miss Swan, will you do the honor of seeing me again? I don't want this to be our last goodbye."

_ I don't want any goodbyes._

My breath caught. Am I dreaming? Edward Masen wanted to see me again. Father is going to be exstatic! Oh, and mother is going to make me dance around with her when we get home. From the corner of my eye, I sensed someone watching. Peeking, I saw Alice standing there, giggling.

She sent me out of my daze, and I forced words out of my numb mouth. "It would be a pleasure, Edward Masen. Soon it is. Goodnight."

Turning around quickly, I walked as slow as I could. I didn't want this to be our goodbye. As I got further and further, my heart beat rose and peeked, beating hard under my sticky skin.

Before I rounded the corner, I peeked at him through the corner of my eye. He was standing there, watching me with a bemused smile upon his glorious face. Seeing me look, he nodded slightly and gave me a small wave. I only smiled, walking away.

My mother and Elizabeth stopped conversating as I came into view. They both smiled. "Just the person we were speaking of." I gave my mother a questioning glance.

"You and Edward are both attending the same school. He will escort you every morning." Elizabeth told me.

"He is also in the music organization." My mother chimed in.

I could feel my face heat up. Why were they so delighted about this. "Is that so?"

"Bella, I told you to never doubt me. We are going to be great friends." Alice squealed, hugging me from behind.

Her openness amazed me. Yes, I could easily see she was right. "Of course, Alice. I could never doubt such a person as you."

"I can also see the way my brother glances at you. _Love._" She murmured, and my face only became more red.

"Alice!" Elizabeth scolded her, yet a delicate smile placed her face.

"Yes, mother?" Her innocent face caused everyone to smile. She made everyone around her delighted. It was natural.

"Never mind, dear." Elizabeth shook her head, turning my way. "Isabella, thank you for joining us today. I hope to see you soon, you seem to be a wonderful lady."

I accepted her embracement, laughing quietly. "My oh my, it has been my pleasure to be here, Mrs. Masen."

A few more words were exchanged between Elizabeth and my mother, but they murmured softly with their back to me. Alice buzzed on about herself, and I easily got along with her. She seemed to be quite like me. Carefree. Neither of us enjoyed having to act like ladies and do as we were told, yet we did.

Once again, hugging goodbye, promising to see each other soon, my mother and myself strolled on home. Never did she stop speaking about Edward and I. Did they believe he would court me? Nonsense, Edward was too good for me. Such a nice fellow deserved someone as good as him.

While she zoned on and on, I blankly gazed at the setting sun. Never once did I stop thinking of the way his soft hand felt in mine.

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><p><strong>How was the first chapter? Good_Bad? Please let me know!<strong>

**I love Reviews! (: **


	2. Chapter 2

The weeks after the tea gathering were fantastic. Everyday, Edward would walk me to and from our classes, and even help me study. We had become very close, and even snuck out a few times. Our parents never said anything, so I doubt they knew. I had never acted such a way infront of the presence of a gentleman, but he tended to bring out that side of me.

There was not a day that we were not together, and I loved it. If we were not together the only thing I could think about was Edward. How beautiful his eyes are, or how soft his untamed hair felt. I would never be able to describe his perfectness.

After months of growing close, we finally tied the knot. He had asked me to promise him. No, it was not a proposal, but a promise that one day we shall marry. I fell in love with him. He fell in love with me. I had never thought that such beauty could love such a girl as me. We did not tell anyone of this promise, for they would take it wrong.

Kisses and inappropriate actions were shared, but never once did we cross the line. No. We both wanted to wait until we were married. But we did talk of it. We spoke of everything. Our life. Our children. Our future. Us. These feelings were all new to me, but felt so normal.

We did not last long promised. Both of us wanted to make is official. Finally our mother's caught on, and both my mother and Elizabeth planned our wedding. I remember the day Mrs. Masen requested me in private, and swiched the ring of Edward's grandmother, which lay on my ring finger, with her wedding band.

I had nearly fainted and started sobbing into her shoulder. Ever since that day I've treated her like my mother, for she acted like one. I looked up to her, to her beauty. Elizabeth was so kind hearted, and Edward Sr. treated me no less than Alice.

Oh my dear, dear Alice. Such a tiny gal can hold abundances of energy. It was like a wire touching water. Shaking and bouncing, sending out sparks. She was odd in every way, and I loved her for it. Alice knew me better than I knew myself, and tended to know what I always wanted before I wanted it. Before I knew it, we were introducing eachother as sisters.

My parents could not have been more exstatic. I do not see them often since Edward and I moved into our cottage, but they were happy nevertheless. Not even my father was weary of handing me off.

Then it seemed that our wedding came not much longer. Everyone in the entire city of Chicago attended. I had never seen anything so beautiful. My dress was an off-white lace gown with laced sleeves and back. Pearls embedded the back and neckline. It was a one of a kind; Elizabeth and Alice had made it, while my mother had used her own pearls.

Finally, _finally, _I was Isabella Marie Masen.

I couldn't have been more happy than I was at that moment. Seeing Edward's smile, and knowing that his arms were only open for me...I had never felt like that. Soon I had a name for the feeling; _Love. _

My mother and father had always told me that love made people do crazy things. Yes, I believed wholeheartedly that that saying holds true. Yet, I would do anything for love. If you trully love someone or something, you would do anything for that person.

I felt that way for Edward. Each passing week seemed more blissful than the last. My love only grew, as did his smiles. Everything was going grand for us. His job that he, working with his father, was feeding us and leaving us with extra money. Soon, we were also wealthy. Never in my life was I used to this. I couldn't believe it.

But there was a small aching somewhere deep down in me. I couldn't figure it out. I had so much. So much and more than my biggest dream. Edward. He was my dream. He was what I would always want. Edward could pull me through anything and everything. With him, I knew I could survive. He was my soulmate. But that nagging voice in the back of my mind told me something was missing.

Today, that missing hole was filled.

For a few days I have had the thought in my head, but I wanted to be sure. Alice and I planned it out perfectly. Edward would be out at work while we accomplished it. Everything would go smoothly.

"Bella, I'm going to be an Aunt! Oh, this is the best news of my life!" Alice gushed as we skipped down the sidewalk, hand in hand.

I had been late a couple weeks ago, but ignored it. Then I was late on my second month and knew it had to be true. Everything had to be true. A baby! A tiny Edward! My little bundle of perfection. Everything was now complete. My life was perfect.

I smiled, laughing. "Alice, you are my bestfriend, my sister. I trust you with everything. Now, answer this question for me, okay?"

She bobbed her tiny head, giving me the biggest grin I have ever seen. "You know you can trust me, Bella. I may only be sixteen but I can handle anything."

I bit my lip as we walked through the gate to Mrs. Masen's house. "Well, I was wondering if you believe that Edward will be happy with this news."

Alice skidded to a halt, staring at me with wide eyes. "Bella..."

Of course it was an obvious question, but I could not help but ask. Sure, Edward loved children and wanted children, but I had to make sure from someone else. My insecurites always took a damper on me.

"Isabella." Her eyes narrowed. "You know my brother better than he knows himself. Now answer your question."

I bit my lip, sighing. "I know, I know. Now, let's go tell a grandmother!"

We both laughed, skipping into her home. The smiled never left my face as we ran into the kitchen to see Elizabeth making us some snacks.

"Hello, momma." Alice said, bounding up to her and kissing her cheek.

"Hello, dear." She smiled at us both. "I'm making snacks if you two would care to have some."

I wiggled my eyesbrows at Alice as I reached for a cracker. She giggled, looking away to not laugh out loud. "Do not mind if I do."

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows, glancing between the two of us. "Care to share what is so amusing?"

I snickered, taking a bite of my cracker and a sip of water. "Elizabeth, my loving, caring, dear-"

Alice burst out laughing as Elizabeth cut me off, giggling. "Isabella, why are you sucking up to me?"

I smiled widely. "Because I'm pregnant!"

The plate in her hands dropped onto the counter, and the largest smile errupted on her face. She ran over to hug me, the same time Alice jumped between us to join the family hug. I laughed at her, while a few tears ran down my face with Elizabeth's crying.

"Oh, Isabella!" She blubbered. "You have made my Edward so happy, and with this, I am happy. I love you, my dear. You are blessing this family with a baby."

I had spent the next few hours over their house, like I normally do. While Edward is at work, I clean the hosue and get everything done over there, and then come to join Alice. My mother joins us later on. So when she came, and we told her about the news, her response was the same as Elizabeth's, though she made us all dance around the room.

When they sent me home in the carriage, Elizabeth already making the baby a blanket, I finally had time to think to myself. I watched as the bright, blue sky changed into a sunset. The horizon was a deep orange, beautiful and endless.

It reminded me of my love for Edward.

No matter how many times a day we change and move and sway, at the end of everything, I always end up in his arms. It was a cycle. With him, I could conquer anything. Now that I have a baby Edward on the way, my love grew even more. My heart swelled.

Soon, I was dancing around the kitchen, cooking our supper. The smell roamed through the house, inviting and sweet. Tonight I cooked his favorite meal, trying to make everything perfect.

Outside, I heard the gate slam shut.

My feet carried me faster than I thought possible out of the door. As soon as I seen his beautiful bronzed hair and green eyes, I threw myself into his arms, showering his face with kisses. My lips lingered on every part of his face. I wrapped my legs tightly around his waist and my arms around his neck.

"Well," he laughed, walking into the house, "I love this homecoming."

"I missed you." I whispered, laying my head on his shoulder, lightly rubbing his cheek.

"As I missed you, my beautiful Bella."

I felt so giddy as I finished cooking supper, speaking with Edward about my day. He was so beautiful, with his perfect face and hair. The smile never left his face as he stared at me. We knew everything about eachother, but I was so scared to tell him about our baby.

"Alice and I went to the doctor's today." I told him as we sat down to eat.

He shot up, running towards me. "Are you okay? Is Alice alright?"

His eyes roamed all over me, making me giggle. "Oh, I'm more than fine, Edward."

I stared at him as he stared at me. In his eyes, I could see the tiny pieces falling together. We had recently spoken about this, so I hoped that he would be able to catch on. I bit my lip, a smile spreading across my face. I nodded my head as he tilted his head to the side. A beautiful smile grew upon his perfect face.

No more than a second later, he was swinging us around in circles.

"Really?" He cried, tears streaming down his soft cheeks. "A baby?"

I cried with him, my smile never faltering.

All too soon the days were turning into weeks and weeks passed by into months. My stomach grew more and more and Edward's smile grew along with it. Alice seemed to be over now more than ever, and she was just as excited about this as her brother was. With only around six more weeks left of my pregnancy, I never expected things to go downhill. I had everything right where I wanted them. My life was perfect. Flawless. Every dream of mine was now coming true.

Until the Spanish Influenza hit Chicago.

My father had already fallen ill, and my mother had caught it while taking care of him in the hospital. Neither of them could stay awake for more than a few minutes, and when they did, a coughing fit took over their body. Dr. Cullen said to me that they only had days, if not hours, left to live.

At the same time, Edward Sr. began showing symptons. High fever, itchy, dizziness, and once he started coughing up blood, they put him into the cot next to my father. He had already caught the virus, and it was spreading fast.

Elizabeth slept next to her husband everyday, not one ounce of fear for her own safety. Even though she was showing high temperatures, she made sure to take care of Edward Sr. before thinking about herself. She would have tried to take car of Edward, too, if not for me being there and telling her to lay down.

Though my entire family had fallen ill, with Edward by my side, everything wasn't as bad. That was, until I was by his side, with him laying in the hospital bed, moaning in his sleep. Alice and I were the only ones who had not caught anything yet.

I could not stand the thought of leaving Edward, but the nurses forced us out at night. Refusing to allow Alice home alone, she stayed with me everyday and everynight. We both slept together in a spare room and cried ourselves to sleep. She could not stand being in her home, with both parent's on their death beds, and I could stand to sleep in Edward's bed as he was in a cot, so we slept together for comfort.

Then both of my parents were taken to the morgue, and soon Mr. Masen followed. Everything was a daze. I couldn't remember what day it was, or when something was happening. My mind could only focus on Edward, and if he was alright.

From then on forward, I threw a fit everytime the nurses tried forcing me to leave. They soon learnt to not try and make me leave. I slept in a cot next to his bed everynight, falling asleep with the washcloth against his hot cheek. Alice slept next to me, right by Mrs. Masen.

Dr. Cullen had taken extra care to our family. He practicaly lived within our room with us, and I trusted him. I felt as if he could help. There was something about the way he moved, and never seemed to grow restless when he helped us. If anyone could save my Edward, it would be this gentleman.

"Bella."

I shot out of my bed, falling onto the floor in the process. My hands wrapped around my stomach on instinct as my bottom hit the floor with a thud. I gasped, my sleepy stupor vanishing. Jumping to my feet, my head whipped around myself.

Alice stood in the corner of the room, bawling her eyes out. Elizabeth's bed was now gone, and I only seen the last of the gentleman that had took her out. My body started shaking, and sobs racked my body. No, _no! _Not another person I love!

I ran over to Edward's bed, gripping his hand in mine. It was burning, but his body was shaking. My sobs only became harder, and soon I could not see his face, it was only a blur of bronzed beauty.

"Oh, Bella." Alice cried, wrapping her arms around me. I leaned into her touch, my stomach hurting from crying so hard. "My momma is gone. She has left us forever."

"It hurts..." I whispered, cluthing at my chest, wincing.

"Isabella?" I looked up to see Dr. Cullen looking at me with a sad look. "What hurts?"

"My heart." I whimpered, walking up to him. "Dr. Cullen, you must save my Edward. Please, please do everything you can, things that we cannot do. Use all of your power."

His eyes widened as I said that, but before he had time to react, Edward started coughing hard. Blood was spraying over his chest, and Alice fell to the floor with her sobs. I ran over to my husband, trying to help, but Dr. Cullen gently moved me away, murmuring something about 'the baby must stay healthy'. I wasn't paying attention.

I could not live in a world without my other half, my better half. He was my heart, I could not live without him. There had to be another way, one more option. Something as pure as Edward should not have to leave. He couldn't leave. I was carrying his baby! He had to be here.

I did not realize Alice was holding onto me as I was sobbing and screaming. Another nurse had come to help hold me back as they wheeled Edward away, but through his coughing, I could hear him whisper a small, "I love you and our baby so much, Isabella. Forever..."

"I love you, Edward!" I screamed, wailing my hands in the air, kicking the nurse that held me so tightly. "Do not leave me, please! Please, oh please...I need you! Come back! I need you...We need you."

My screaming turned into cries of pain, as I realized half of me was gone. I could feel my heart break without him by my side. I turned into Alice and hugged her against me as tight as I could, bawling and screaming into her hair. The smell of death was all around me, and the stabbing pain in my heart disgusted me.

Dr. Cullen was not seen again after he wheeled my life away from me. No one heard from him. Nor would I, for I stayed indoors afterwards. It pained me to stay in my cottage, so filled with memories of my love, but it also hurt to stay in the house my family once lived in. Now it was only Alice and I, and my little baby.

I was unresponsive, therefore Alice arranged everything for the funeral. I could not bare to think about it. The only thing keeping me tied to this earth was the baby inside of me, knowing how much _he_ had loved his baby.

Not many attended the funeral, for many had died along with my family. Those who were alive and well, full of tears for their own losses, came to morn along side us. It seemed like a waste. It wasn't as if they cared about my family, my husband, they came for respect. Who cares about respect? It's a title!

I sat next to his grave for hours, crying my love out for him, begging for him to come back to me. Alice just held onto me as I allowed everything to come out. The cold air whipped around our bodies, swaying our hair. My eyes were sore and I could not feel the tips of my fingers.

"I love you so much, more than you will ever know. Please-" my voice broke, and a small whimper escaped me. "I need you. Please...please please please!" My shouting became screaming as I began to have another panic attack. I kicked in rage, and Alice held onto me for dear life .

As Alice tried soothing me, it became dark out. I had not realized before just how long we sat against the tombstone, but it was very late. I held onto my sister for my life as we walked to the pathway. Inside my chest, my heart was beating uncontrollably. Something was wrong. I could not help but glance around me through my puffy eyes, trying to calm down. Nothing helped me.

I heard a soft laugh from behind me, and then fire at my neck. Before the darkness took over completely, I felt my baby kick as I screamed, feeling my pain with me.


	3. Chapter 3

Humans who have broken hearts say that they will never be able to go on. They say that their world will never be the same. Living only for a short time to shed a few tears and then fall in love with someone else. It seems pretty simple to me.

Vampires, on the other hand, must live with their broken hearts for eternity. Forever. Healing is not a process that is as simple as most humans play it off as. Not at all, because we must deal with pain that is amplified. Pain and numbness are two words that hold true when describing me. My heart died along with my soulmate. I died when the devil bit me. I died along with my baby. My innocent, perfect baby.

Ninety years passing over in slow motion as your stuck watching the entire time, burning in your own pain, is not what most people want out of life. Of course, I had a family I will forever be grateful for. I love them with all that is left of me, which is not much. Nevertheless, they are the only things keeping me tied to this world. I would have taken my life with a smile if it weren't for their love for me.

Alice has been the best, bestfriend and sister I could have ever asked for. If not for her and her soothing words and bright smiles, I don't know if I would have made it through all of my panic attacks. She took everything in better than me. Of course it effected her, but to some extent, she has learned how to live and move on. Being able to see how everything will turn out for herself, she is the person I rely on the most. Jasper is the main reason that Alice has been able to smile.

When we found Jasper at that bar after he had ran away from the wars, I had never seen my sister so happy. It was the first time I had smiled since being turned into a monster. He has done nothing but help us out, by protecting us and just being there with his love. Though I was distant, it didn't stop me from becoming great friends with him, and even learning how to love again. I was soon sobbing into his shoulder when things became too hard, or when I seen something that would remind me of _him_. I was soon looking up to him as my brother.

Move after move, school after school, the pain always peeks through. I honestly try my best for them, my family, but it is hard watching them be so happy, knowing I had that once upon a time. Alice has been having flickers of us living with another family in Forks, Washington. But they weren't full visions, but short glimpses. So of course we had to move once again to go and see if it was true.

I sighed, laying down in the back seat, my face against the cool leather. I turned my ipod up to try and tune out Alice and her bouncing. She was so excited to meet our new 'family'. I really did not want to have to sit back and watch more people love one another.

"Bella," obviously the ipod did no good, "We are pulling into their driveway."

I sat up, turning my ipod off. Alice was rambling on about their family, bouncing in her seat. Even Jasper couldn't calm her down. I cracked a tiny grin at that.

"Oh, drive faster, Jazzy! This is so exciting! Come on, push it harder!" Alice yelled, giggling like crazy. I shook my head, leaning forward to put my head in the middle of them. I threw my shield out so that Alice couldn't see the future. She froze, causing Jasper to stare at her incrediously.

"It's only fair." I shrugged, leaning back before she smacked me. "I want this to be a suprise for all of us."

"Bella!" She moaned, rolling her eyes. "You cannot expect me to just be blind!"

"Welcome to the world everyone else lives in." I gave her a cheeky grin.

Before she could argue any further, we pulled up to a beautiful white house. Mansion would be a more fitting word. The walls were made of glass, and it looked to be three stories high. To the east of the house was a beautiful garden and large meadow, and I could hear the water from a soft stream. No cars were in sight, only our black SUV.

Alice squealed, jumping out of the car, practically pulling me out after her. I sighed, relieved to smell fresh air, to feel the murky ground beneath my feet. Being squished with all of our belongings in the backseat is not the most comfy spot. Of course it wasn't uncomfortable, just an inconvinence. Jasper shook his head at his lovely mate, smiling.

"Come on, come on!" Alice pushed us, making me laugh quietly.

Before we had time to knock, the door was opened by a beautiful woman with a heartshaped face. Her caramel-colored hair flowed down to her shoulders in perfect waves. The smile on her face was very loving but confused.

"Hello, can I help you with something?" Her voice was soft, concern clouding her eyes.

"Oh, it's so nice to finally meet you Esme! May we come in?" Alice asked, the biggest smile on her face.

The shock on her face would have been comical if not for the fact that this was our future at stake. Jasper put a restraining hand on Alice's shoulder, sending out calming waves. Her bouncing stopped, but the smile only got bigger.

"Please forgive my mate, she gets overly excited." Jasper explained in a gentle voice, his southern accent leaking out.

Esme laughed, her face smoothing out. "Of course, come on in."

Alice nearly ran her over as she ran into the house, Jasper quickly following. I hesitated, but followed right after. I shook my head as Alice gave Esme a hug. "Alice, let the poor woman have some space. She doesn't know you yet."

I looked around myself, shocked. The inside of the house was even more beautiful than the out. It was very welcoming, a softness to it. The glass walls made it very open, and the beautiful browns added a very soft effect. Family pictures and old paintings filled the walls, and I stared in amazement around me.

Then I seen the other two vampires infront of me. They were obviously mates, looking at us with confused expressions. The male was monsterious, with black curly hair. His muscles were huge, obviously showing he had strength. He looked at us with a grin, obviously ready for any fight. His arm was around the most beautiful vampire I have ever seen.

She had a threatening scowl on her beautiful face, openly showing her disliking towards us. Her posture was tense. With long legs and golden hair that flowed to her back, she had the body that any girl would die for. Her curves were perfect, as were the angles in her facial structure. She was taller than me, around 5'11, but looked short next to the male.

"These are my children, Rosalie and Emmett. My husband, Carlisle, is not here right now. He works at the local hospital. My other two family members are out hunting right now." Esme explained, moving to stand by Rosalie and Emmett.

I cringed at the name Carlisle. He brought back old memories I did not want to remember. The burning smell of death, bodies lying lifeless around me. He was like the father I had at the time, and he left along with everyone else. Alice only seemed giddier by this fact, confusing me.

"You have a beautiful home, Esme!" Alice gushed, walking over to the couch. Jasper follwed, not loosened up yet. I stood in my spot, not moving.

"Thank you, dear." Esme smiled, walking over to a leather couch. "Rosalie, will you go call Carlisle please? Tell him to come home immediately."

After a few grumbles, a look from Esme and shooting a glare at Alice, Rosalie stormed off to go call Carlisle. Emmett gave me a huge grin, to which I smiled back and slowly made my way to sit next to Alice.

"So shorty, how did you walk in here and know all of our names?" Emmett joked, grinning. I got the impression he was an open person within this family, and if we were joining soon, I would be in a load full of trouble.

"Emmett!" Esme scolded him. "They are guests, use your manners."

"Oh no, it's fine." Alice assured her. "I can see the future. I had a vision of us living with your family, and so here we are."

They gaped at her before Emmett's booming voice cut off the silence. "Holy shit, that's awesome!"

Alice's tinkling laugh filled the house. They all seemed to relax as we made small-talk. I never spoke once, only nodding along and letting myself take in the details of everything around me. Esme had said something about waiting for Carlisle to return before we explain anything. We didn't need to wait long.

Only ten minutes later we heard the sound of a car flying down the road at an incredious speed. Esme seemed shocked by how her husband was acting, but only gave Rosalie a stern look. "Rose, what did you say when you spoke to Carlisle?" Her voice was knowing.

The beautiful vampire only rolled her eyes and gazed at her nails, acting as if they were so important. "Oh, nothing big, just said something about nomadic vampires at the house and that you needed some help because they were slightly delusional."

I stared at her, emotionless. It wasn't the first time someone has hated me, nor will it be the last. I could understand why she felt that way. I could not say that I wouldn't act the same way if complete strangers barged into my home, wanting to change everything. I would be beyond livid, give or take with my temper.

I was paying no attention to what Esme was saying to Rosalie. My attention was focused on the man walking through the door. His eyes roamed the room quickly before they landed onto Esme. Relief flooded his face as he took in our golden eyes and calm postures.

But this is not why I could not tear my gaze from his face. The familiar face of the beautiful blonde man who I had trusted so much to save my soul. He was like my family, my shoulder to lean on. His striking features sent waves of emotions off of me, and I probably sent Jasper to his knees. His pale skin was smooth and flawless, his wide eyes on my shocked face. Around us, everyone watched the stare down with confused faces.

"C-Carlisle?" I cried, flinging myself into his arms.

I did not care if his family was asking Alice what was happening, or if they were giving me odd looks. I did not care if Carlisle didn't remember me, or if he never even cared. All I could think about was getting a piece of my Edward. Carlisle was another thing that reminded me of my husband, that tied me to him in just another way.

I don't know how I never realized that Carlisle was a vampire. He had the cold, pale skin, and the golden eyes. His beauty had always knocked me off my feet, though nothing compared to Edward's. Through my memories, I could clearly remember the dark circles under his eyes, telling myself it was from not sleeping enough because he was at the hospital taking care of my Edward. Now I can see it was from not hunting enough.

Emotion after emotion, I felt overwhelmed as sobs shook my body. I could feel his arms wrap around me tightly, and his soft voice whispering my name over and over, telling me it was okay. His arms around me felt as though I could pretend nothing was wrong, and that things were like they should be. But there was an off-set to his tense shoulders, as if he were keeping something from me.

"Carlisle," I stepped back, regaining my composure. "I apologize for my behavior."

His warm smile brightened the room, and his golden eyes twinkled. "Isabella, there is nothing to apologize for, dear. I seen you as family then, and still do now."

He looked over at Alice, who was bouncing next to Esme, who looked completely confused but excited. "Alice! Oh, look at you, my dear. It's been ages."

Alice shot into his open arms, talking so fast that I had to strain to keep up. "OhCarlisle! ! Ineverthoughtitwastrue! Waitaminute, youweren'ttheonewhochangedusright?"

"Whoa!" Emmett boomed. "Can we all shut up for a minute? I am so damn confused right now."

Esme didn't even scold him on his language, too confused herself. Rosalie was just straing at us with outrage, which confused me. Jasper walked over to me and put a comforting arm around my shoulders. I leaned into him.

Carlisle's eyes shot up to meet mine. "Bella? Shall I explain?"

"With variations." He knew what I meant. What if they don't want us, or kick us out? We haven't seen Carlisle in a century! He most likely won't want us to stay anyhoo. Though seeing him reminds me and brings up great pain, I still missed him. And any part of the old me, I'll take.

Carlisle brought me out of my ranting. "I am assuming that you all have introduced eachother, am I correct?" We all nodded. "Well, this is Alice Masen, as in Edward's biological sister. This is also Bella. I do not know who the young man is, but that these two woman are like family. When I was taking care of the Masen's, we had bonded."

Ignoring the gasps, I shot straight up, stepping forward. "You say it as if they know Edward. Carlisle...?"

That guilty look crossed his face once again. The confusion only stressed me out further. At once everything had clicked into place. I was stupid to not have seen it before.

Carlisle was a vampire when he was taking care of us. To be a doctor as a vampire meant to have almost perfect control, and I had asked Carlisle to do everything in his power to save Edward. Would he have changed my husband? At the time, I had not known what I was asking for, only for Edward to be saved. What have I done? Did Carlisle really change him? And if he didn't, and I'm just getting my hopes up?

The odds of more than one vampire being in the same area were very slim. Would Carlisle bite a pregnant woman who had seen him as family? Would he have taken my child's life and forced me to be damned forever? No...he wouldn't have.

The look on his face told it all. No, he didn't. But he knew that I was changed right after everything happened, for my physical appearence was nearly the same, just more pronounced and beautiful. The sadness in his eyes made my thoughts only go downhill.

"Carlisle...please tell me I haven't done something terribly stupid." I begged.

Before he had time to reply, fast foot-steps headed our way. My head snapped up at the sound of it, and I began having a panic attack. Jasper, who was still holding me, squeezed my shoulder, sending calming waves towards me. Nothing worked. My emotions spiked as the front door opened in a rush. My breaths turned into pants, which cut off as I heard a giggle.

And on cue, just as my thoughts predicted, a bronzed haired beauty came rushing in with a strawberry blonde girl right behind him.


	4. Chapter 4

I could not look away.

My reason for existing, my love, my husband, my Edward-was right infront of me. In the living flesh. Maybe not living, but physically, he was here.

All these years away from him, thinking he was gone, he was here all along. His once green eyes were now a beautiful gold, fresh from hunting. His disheveled bronzed hair was still the same, never being able to be tamed. His jaw was more defined, as were the muscles under his tight, black t-shirt. He still towered over me with a curious and confused expression on his face.

Seeing him infront of me again was like the past ninety years never happened. I could pretend I never had rocked myself in a ball on the floor. I could pretend that I never had to go through so much pain. I could pretend that I was able to keep our baby safe. I could even pretend that he did not have a beautiful girl attached to his arm, glaring at my oggling.

Staring into his eyes, everything went away. It was just us two. He was staring at me with the same intensity as I was him. Every small to big memory we ever had, that we ever shared together, suddenly tumbled infront of my eyes.

_**Flashback:**_

_ "Bella?" I looked over to Edward, who was swinging next to me on his porch, with a suddenly nervous expression on his face. _

_ "What it is, Edward?" I asked, my hand tightening around his. He was my bestfriend. I would hope that he could tell me everything, just as I have told him everything about me. _

_ "I want to make a promise to you." He squared his shoulders and looked me in the eye. "I know that we are too young, but I feel what is right, my Bella. You are my bestfriend, and so much more than that. The time frame of our friendship means nothing, but what we have learned in that time. I have learned that I want to spend forever with you. Isabella Swan, will you promise to marry me some day?"_

_ I gasped as he held up a simple ring, yet elegantly beautiful. The date was engraved in the band, as were our names on the inside. I could not forms words, but nodded my head. I threw my arms around him, letting my tears fall. _

_ "You have made me the happiest person alive, my Bella." He whispered in my ear. _

_ "I love you." Was all I needed to say. Those words summed up everything I felt at that very moment._

_**End Of Flashback.**_

My hand gripped the band that now dangled from a chain around me neck. I played with my real wedding ring that I keep on my right hand as more memories overloaded me.

_**Flashback:**_

_Our wedding was glorious. Perfect. Everything I could have imagined it to be. Our mothers and Alice had done a spectacular job. They knew me well, and so it was simple, yet everyone we knew attended. _

_ As a gift, Edward Sr. had bought us our very own house. Edward had known all along, and had furnished everything to how I wanted it. No wonder he had us walking through town the other day looking at house objects. But everything was beautiful. The outside was a soft yellow, with white shutters and wrap-around porch. He had built us our very own swing, and had carved our wedding date on the top. Around our yard was a beautiful white gate, making everything feel more like home. With Edward, anywhere I would be, was home._

_ And here we are, gazing at eachother for the first time, fully. We stood on our knees, on opposite sides of our grand bed. We took our time taking eachother in, appreciating what we now had. Everything. We could finally come together as one, become complete. _

_ Slowly, we met in the middle, needing the distance to close. His hands shook slightly as he felt from my forehead to my cheeks, down my neck and collarbone. Slowly, his fingertips dragged across my chest and down my breasts, to my bellybutton. He kept his hands on my waist, not wanting to make me feel uncomfortable. _

_ "Edward," I whispered. "I am your wife."_

_ His smile was brilliantly perfect as his lips brushed across mine softly. "Isabella, you have no clue what those words do to me."_

_ I giggled softly, glancing downward. "Oh, I believe I do."_

_ He blushed fiercely, but only laid me down beneath him slowly. My breathing sped up as our kissing became more heavy. This was all new to us. We had not been able to act in such a manner before, but now, we had all the time in the world to do so. _

_ As our bodies tangled together for our first time, I knew now, I no longer held the key to my heart. Edward would always have my love, through thick and thin, just as our vows say. _

_**End Of Flashback.**_

_** Flashback:**_

_His hands slowly rubbed my stomach as we laid down together. Very softly, his lips trailed down my body, leaving a trail of goosebumps on my skin. The tingling sensation spread through-out my whole body as his lips touched my belly. I smiled as I realized what he was doing. _

_ "Hello, my precious baby." He looked up at me through his long lashes. "Doesn't your mommy look beautiful this morning?"_

_ I blushed as his stare became more intense. Ever since the first time we had made love, Edward became a sex addict. Everyday, anytime, anywhere, we did it. Of course I did not mind, but at the rate we hold, by the time our first baby comes, another will be on the way. _

_ He playfully gasped, a mocking smile on his beautiful lips as his ear brushed my stomach. "Oh, really? I'll tell her. Bella, I have a secret to tell you."_

_ I smiled down at him. "And what would that be, Edward?"_

_ "The baby told me to tell you that she loves you so much."_

_ I laughed softly, rubbing my tummy softly. "Well, tell her I love her even more." His hands started exploring my body in places he knew I could not resist. "Honey, you ruined the moment."_

_ His grin became even larger as he noticed my eyes darkening. "Bella, love, I'm just starting another one."_

_ We both laughed together as he rolled us over. Getting wrapped up into eachother, everything faded away. With his hands on my skin, with his arms around my body, I could do anything._

_**End of Flashback.**_

I didn't realize that I had taken several steps forward in his direction. His eyes were confused, but held comfort. My hand slowly reached outward, wanting to touch him. I had to make sure this wasn't a sick mind joke, and that he was physically real.

We were still a good ten feet apart, and I longingly wanted to close the distance. My heart ached as I realized now that I had my only wish, I couldn't make myself walk forward to grab it. My fingertips shook slightly as I realized he had another woman gripping his arm.

She glared at me with such a hatred that made my heart sink deeper. Could he really move on? Has he moved on? She had a beautiful ring on her left finger, but he did not have one on. So they were engaged. How could he forget everything we ever shared? Our love, our vows, our baby..? My lip quivered as she pushed herself closer against him.

But the words she spoke were the ones that broke my heart. "Hi. I'm Tanya, and this is my mate Edward."

_Mates. _The word bounced around in my head. Vampire mates were forever. Once you find your mate, there is never another one. That is it for you, done deal. When it is meant to be, you must go along with it. But I knew in my heart that there wouldnever be another one for myself, only Edward. Obviously he did not feel the same.

Sensing my break down, Jasper pulled me backwards, gripping my shoulders softly yet firmly. His strong arms wrapped around me as Alice stepped forward. My eyes weren't focusing. I could not see straight. I was plotting many ways to end this Tanya. Rage washed through me, as well as defeation. I knew that I had to go along with whatever made Edward happy, for I could not take that away from him.

But hurting her would please me. I could torture her slowly, then dance around the pile of ashes while laughing evilly. I pictured over a thousand scenarios of ways that I could end her existence. Then reality caught up to me, and that would only kill Edward in the process.

"Edward," Alice began. "You do remember me, right?"

I held my breath as I waited to hear his voice. Would it be the same, beautiful honey-like voice that had made my knees weak ages ago? Oh, I hoped so. I loved hearing him talk. It was soothing, like an angel singing. Everything was perfect when he spoke.

A perfect smile lit up his features as he looked her over. "Alice? Is that really you?"

As soon as the words left his mouth, she jumped into his arms. Her rocked her back and forth as she whispered how much she missed him. Jealousy and grief over came me as I looked at them. He could remember his own sister of course, but not his wife, the one who he had shared everything with. Part of me was happy that Alice found her brother once again, but wished that it could be me in his arms.

Not realizing I was shaking with my emotions, nearly sweeping Jasper off his feet, I ran out the door, passing by the hugging siblings. The moment I hit the forest trees, I sped up. Not even caring where my feet took me, I allowed my senses to take over and to just run.

Sobs shook my body as I swerved through every tree. I stumbled as I ran, allowing myself to fall hard onto the ground. Behind me, I was distantly aware of someone running towards me. I could not make out the voice or the smell, but could see their outline as they bent down to hold me. I cried into their embrace, allowing myself to let it out.

I had no clue how long I sat there, sobbing and shaking, but soon I was only panting with every thought that killed my mind a bit more every time it flashed before my eyes. Biting my lip, closing my eyes and clenching my fist, I forced myself to sit up. The person who was holding me sat up along with me, and when I looked over, a small smile played along my lips.

"Thank you, Jasper." I wrapped my arms around my brother's neck. "I'm so sorry about that."

His eyes were cautious. "Bella. I have never seen you so broken before, are you sure you want to go back?"

I nodded my head slowly to answer, but thought aloud. "Mates, Jasper. She is his fucking mate! A mate is forever, dammit! How could he not remember me? Or everything we went through? It is no fair!" My voice raised with each word I said, my anger boiling.

Jasper, used to my terrible temper, only gave me a small grin. What in the world is there to grin about? The love of my life is in love and about to get married, not to mention the fact that he has no memory at all of me. Yes, there is so much to sit around and be cheerful about.

"What is that grin about? I am in no such mood for grinning and jokes." I snapped, standing up to brush the dirt off my pants.

"Nothing, Bella. But never doubt Alice. Haven't you learned that by now? You know she will think of something." My head snapped up. Of course! Jasper would be able to feel if they really loved eachother! The thought that I had a chance with him made my dead heart stutter, and a grimaced smile formed on my face.

Knowing I didn't really want to talk anymore, Jasper led the way back to the Cullen household. My nerves suddenly shot. I had ran out of the house like a lunatic. They probably will all ask questions, and I would have no answers. Without lifting my mental shield, I brung back my other one to allow Alice to see the future. I did not want to block anything from her now.

The moment that the white mansion came into our view, Alice shot out of the door and was in my arms before I could take another step. I wrapped my arms around her tightly, pullling shield around us so that no one could hear what she had to say.

"Oh my god, Bella. I am so sorry." She yelled, slightly hysterical. "The moment you ran out, I had to think of a lie because everyone was pestering me with questions. Carlisle tried to shut them up and Jasper followed you. We didn't need you to have another blackout, ya know? Don't worry, we will fix everything."

I let her rant with raised eyebrows. "It's okay, Alice. Nothing is your fault."

She stepped back and grabbed Jasper's hand. "Nor is it yours, Bella. Now come on, everyone has been worried sick for the past two hours."

Two hours? Wow. I really lost track of time. After giving me small smiles, Alice and Jasper ran into the house. I walked right behind them, nervous about going in. When I did though, I became even more skeptical.

Everyone was scattered around the house, doing their own thing. Esme was cleaning in the next room, I could hear Carlisle walking around upstairs, quietly talking on the phone, which I presumed to be the hospital. Emmett and Rosalie were in another room, doing something I really could go without hearing. Jasper and Alice had sat down on one of the couches, with Tanya sitting on the double couch next to them. Edward stood next to her, and met my eyes with a small smile.

As I walked closer, his hand reached out towards me. "I didn't have a chance to properly introduce myself before, I am Edward."

"You probably already figured out as much that I am Bella." I smiled up at him, putting my hand into his larger one. The moment we made contact, it felt as though there was an electrical current flowing between the two of us. It was a very pleasant, warm feeling. Both of our heads snapped down, staring with wide eyes.

I snapped out of it when Alice giggled, and stepped back sheepishly. Not wanting to walk away from him, I forced my self to go sit on the love seat by myself, right across from Alice and Jasper, with Edward and Tanya to my right.

I stared at the floor awkwardly for a few seconds before luckily, Alice spoke up. "How much of your human life do you remember, Edward?"

Oh, the big question. I looked up as I waited for his answer. "I don't remember much, it is all very blurry. But I could remember your face, and could only put names to you, mother and father. I couldn't even bring up anything else besides a yellow house with a large porch..."

I giggled softly, remembering how much we both fell in love with the house the moment we seen it. Edward looked over at me, confused. "Did I live there? Please, I would love to try and remember more of it, I just can't remember."

I looked over at Alice, not wanting to talk. Understanding my look, she spoke up. "Well, yes. That yellow house was yours after you moved out. Don't you remember Bella?"

Edward's head whipped over at me, his eye's wide. "You were in our human lives?"

I nodded slowly. "I was your bestfriend. We did absolutely everything together. I had moved to Chicago when I was fifteen, but we became friends very quickly, almost inseperable until we were both seventeen and the influenza hit."

He stared at me for what seemed like forever.

I stared back, not being able to look away. So many emotions flashed across his face as he tried to remember. I could tell he was trying, the way his face would scrunch up in certain places, and the muscles in his arms and back tightened up. I smiled softly, shaking my head. It made me love him even more that he tried to remember me.

"Edward, do not strain yourself. When you are meant to remember, it will come to you. Until then, we can all just spend this time getting to know one another." I gave him a soft smile, though my chest was aching.

"Well, if we are sharing stories, everyone should join us." Alice said, her head turning my way. Her eyes burned into mine, and I knew exactly what she wanted.

Wrapping my shield around only her and I, I made sure no one would be able to know we were even talking, let alone hear it. To them, it looked as if we were just staring at eachother. "What is it, Alice?" Her frown only deepened.

"Bella," her voice broke. "My visions are all over the place. Edward and Tanya are getting married in a few months, and I refuse to allow my brother to marry that _bitch. _We are going to find out a way to end this. I can see your hurting, and I have no clue why he does not remember. But I'm sorry."

I gave her a small smile. "Alice, your my bestfriend, my sister. I hope you know that through everything, and anything I do, I will always love you. Thank you for putting up with me."

Her loud laugh told me that my cheerful Ali was back, so I only laughed softly. Not even a second later her face became serious again. "What do you want me to tell them?"

I bit my lip. "Let's just stick with the bestfriend, gig. You can tell them about everything else, though. Just...not about Emily. I don't want their sympathy because of her."

She nodded to me and looked at Jasper, who was shaking his head slightly with a grin on his face. He knew exactly what we were doing. Putting my shield down so everybody could hear us and we could talk to them, I noticed everyone sat around us while we were occupied.

"So, we are sharing stories?" Carlisle asked in his old and wise voice. I smiled at the sound of it.

"Yes." I nodded my head once. "You can go first, if you don't mind."

With one smile in my direction, he launched into his story. I sat in amazment as he described how he hid himself from the human population for their own protection. He went on to tell how he discovered that he could live another way, off of animal blood. He had me squirming in my seat when he told of his many years alone, and how he eventually came to Chicago and came across the deadly Flu. Everyone, even those who heard the story, gasped as he told them about our family.

"The older of them, Renee, Charlie, Elizabeth and Edward Sr. did not make it long. Their bodies could not fight it off well enough. They were gone after only a few days. Bella and Alice had never came in contact with the virus, lucky enough. Edward on the other hand, was soon to follow with his parents. The day that his heart started giving away, and Bella had asked me to do everything in my power to save him, I was selfish enough to do so. And so I did."

I knew that there was holes in the story that were not his to tell, but I still wanted to know. Carlisle was strong. He really was someone that I looked up to, even though just seeing him for the first time in a century, I still see him as a father figure.

Carlisle briefly skimmed over everyone's history, and how he had came across each of them. I knew that he was allowing everyone the chance to tell their own story in their own time. When he was telling Esme's story, and how she fell off a building, she interrupted him.

"I do not mind telling my true story. I know in my heart that you all will be part of this family, and I don't want mine to be a secret from you. I had jumped off of the building after I lost my child. I could not handle the pain of losing my baby, and Carlisle had changed me when I was rushed into the hospital."

My emotions went on an insane rollercoaster ride within five seconds. She understood me. Esme knew what it was like to lose a child. I bit my lip to hold back my sobs while Jasper sent me a wave of calm, which slowed down my shaking. Everyone around me gave me odd looks, except those who knew the truth. Carlisle and Esme gave me looks of sympathy, and it looked as though Esme knew. Alice and Jasper both gave me cheeky smiles, trying to make me laugh. It worked. Jasper wrapped his arms around me as we listened to the rest of their past.

Barely touching on Rosalie's past, Carlisle only said that he had found her bleeding and dieing on the street, almost dead. When I glanced over at her, she was looking down with a vicious look on her beautiful face. I think I had an idea of what happened to her, though I had no clue why she hated me, knowing nothing about me.

He then explained how Rosalie had found Emmett getting mauled by a bear, and how she carried him all of the way home for Carlisle to change him. When he said this, Emmett looked over at Rosalie with a smile that showed so much love it made me want to hug him until his bones broke. I stared in amazement as I seen a smile errupt on her face.

She was much more beautiful when she smiled.

When it came time to tell of Tanya's past, he struggled slightly. Rosalie laughed softly, speaking up. "Carlisle, all there is to tell about her past is that she was a filthy whore that hooked up with any human male she could get. Then afterwards would try and seduce even more. And when she met Edward, and he wouldn't fall into her tricks, she just _had _to get him. It's all really just a game to her. She wants him because she is a lowlife, wannabe-" she got cut off by Edward's fierce snarl.

Hearing him growl like that was kind of a turn on, but I ignored that and tried to comprehend what Rosalie said. Well, at least I wasn't the only one who had a strong distaste towards her. Emmett's smirk also told me that he did not enjoy her either.

"Rosalie Hale!" Esme scolded, though I could see the glint in her eyes, too.

Edward hissed, but otherwise ignored his sister as he looked over at Alice. His eyes softened as he looked at her, and a smile replaced his sneer. "Okay, baby sister, your turn to share."

Alice rolled her eyes, but otherwise sat up and smiled at everyone before she started. "Well, about a week after you were pronounced dead, I had made the arrangements for our whole families funeral. While Bella and I were there, we had not realized how late we had been out. On our way home together, we were attacked and left there by whoever tried to kill us."

I closed my eyes as she left out the most important part. They killed my baby. If I were to ever see that filthy, slimy bitch again in my existance, she would be a pile of ashes within seconds. My hands wrapped around my stomach, where they curl up everytime I remember my baby Emily.

"When we had woken up, we were both so confused that we attacked eachother. Bella has always been stronger than me, but I had somehow been able to know what she was going to do. We fought for hours before we realized what we were actually doing. Bella broke down and had a panic attack while my visions took over. I had no control over them like I do now. We had no clue what had happened to us. Our creator had left us there to figure it out on our own. I had a vision of us drinking from animals, and so that is how we figured out this lifestyle."

I laughed at the memory. Alice giggled along with me before going on. "We spent years on our own, moving from place to place, shopping and more shopping!" I rolled my eyes as she squealed in delight. Jasper groaned along with me, earning a smack on the arm. I muffled my laugh with his arm as she kept going. "Eventually I had a vision of us finding Jasper. He was from Texas and had fought in the Civil War, where a vampire named Maria had changed him for the southern wars that were going on at that point. He finally ran away and we met him at the bar that I seen in my vision. It was love at first sight." She sighed dramatically, making everyone laugh. Jasper hugged her tighter, kissing her spiky hair.

"And so we have spent the last fifty years together, us three, as a family. We showed Jasper how to adapt to this lifestyle. He had a harder time learning it, but Bella made it alot easier for him."

"What do you mean when you say Bella made it easier for him?" Emmett asked, ever so bluntly.

I spoke up instead of Alice. "If you haven't figured it out, all three of us are gifted. Alice has the gift to be able to see the future. When a choice is made or changed, the future can also change. Jasper is an empath, and can manipulate emotions. I am a shield, both a physical and mental. I can stop a physical attack and stop gifts from working on me. My shield is very complex, and I have learned many things from it. I can also use it to block people out. So if I wanted, I could have a conversation with someone and no one can hear a thing, it just looks like I am staring at the person."

"So that is why I cannot read your minds..." Edward mused.

"Whoa! That is a helluva gift, can we please try it out?" Emmett asked me, his booming voice echoeing through the house.

"Very interesting. We will have to try these out soon." Carlisle almost looked giddy when I nodded and smiled.

"Where were you three living before you came here?" Esme asked, a kind smile on her face.

"We were in Canada for quite some time, then we went to France, then Russia, then Ireland, and when we went back to our house in Canada I had the vision of us here with your family." Alice shrugged, the biggest smile on her face.

Jasper laughed, most likely remembering when she had the vision in the first place. We had just gotten back from Ireland, and Jasper had tackled me into mud as soon as we got home. We had wrestled for hours, and then he finally quit. When I was in the shower, Alice barged in, ripped the curtain off the rod and stood there screaming. I, on the other hand, screamed and grabbed a towel to wrap around me because Jasper was right in the doorway, turning around as soon as he seen me.

"So basically a lot of traveling around?" Tanya asked, her nasal voice etched with sarcasm.

"Precisely." I narrowed my eyes at her. When I looked away, I swore Rosalie was trying to wipe the smile off her face before I could see. I realy wanted to be friends with everyone here, with one exception, and hoped that we would be able to talk.

We spent the next few hours just talking, catching up on everything. Alice was the speaker on our part, aside from if I was asked a direct question. Jasper seemed to kick it off with Emmett really well, while Alice caught up with Edward. She was a blur of motion, talking with everybody. She was even able to make Rosalie smile. When I tried talking to her, she simply raised one, perfectly arched eyebrow until I turned away.

I spent most of my time speaking with Esme and Carlisle, who both knew about my history. Carlisle admitted to me(under my shield, of course), that he had told Esme years ago about everything. I didn't blame him, keeping something in like that must have been hard with a mind-reader in your family. The only thing he kept from her was of mine and Edward's marriage and baby together. All he said was that we were engaged.

When Alice took it upon herself to show us where our rooms would be, she walked straight into Edward's bedroom, looked around herself, and said that it would be perfect for herself and Jasper. Alice will be Alice. After many curse words thrown at her from Tanya and Edward politely telling her she could have it, Alice quickly told them to pack their stuff up and take it into another room. While Edward and Tanya packed their stuff, Alice helped me unpack all of mine. I had the room across from Edward's new bedroom on the third floor. It was trully beautiful.

The room itself was all white. The walls were white, with a large ceiling, probably twenty feet tall. The wooden floor added the perfect touch. The large, white bed in the center of the room was beautiful, too. Off to the right was a set of double doors, which led out to a gorgeous balcony. White, thin curtains hung infront of them, and on the other wall was another set of double doors, which I presumed to be my closet. On my left was a vanity, with a large mirror and complete with the lights on top you only see in the movies, in the dressing rooms. In the left corner was another white door, which was open to reveal a beautiful bathroom. All together the room was perfect.

Most of the stuff we had in the SUV was mine, so Jasper helped carry it all up with Emmett. The most important item of mine was my chest, which I put at the end of my bed. Inside was every photo album I had ever owned, and all of the baby items Elizabeth and my mother had made me.

It only took a few minutes for everything to get into my room, so I politely kicked everyone out so I could sort through it in peace. I first took off all of my dresses that were hanging on a rack and carried them to my closet. The whole closet was almost as big as my room. I had kept every dress that my mother had made me while growing up, and the ones that Elizabeth had made me after the wedding. Every dress was in it's own zip up bag, so I put them all on a secluded rack in the back of the room. My wedding dress was also in one, a slightly longer bag than the rest.

I then took my time putting up my pictures around the room. I hung up some of the paintings I had drew over the years, as well as pictures from my vampire life. I hung up some from my human life growing up, but kept the rest in albums. I placed the albums on a shelf in order from year. They only took up the top shelf.

Music was my big escape when Alice and Jasper were occupied with themselves. I owned _a lot _of it. My CD collection was huge. It took forever for me to re-organize it, but I enjoyed the distraction it made. I ordered them from time period and then the preference within that period. It all fit onto the shelf perfectly. I hooked up my stereo on the wall, right next to the shelf.

I plugged in my speakers in different corners of the room, and then put on a Skillet CD. I was in the mood for darker music. I put it on shuffle and went back to unpacking.

I spent the next few hours taking my time unpacking. Everyone left me alone, but I couldn't help but get distracted quite a few times while Edward and Tanya were also unpacking their stuff across the hall. It was going to be hell having a room across from theirs. I did not want to hear any physical activites they do, nor did I even want to think about her touching him.

I put together my white desk and put all of my books on it, after ordering them to how I like. I plugged in my desk lamp and also placed my laptop on it, too. I put up a framed picture of me and Alice in the corner of it, smiling when I did so. She trully was my life-saver.

Sighing, I turned to my chest. It was the only thing I had left to do. I hated going through it, yet enjoyed remembering every little piece of my old self. Slowly, I sunk down to my knees and opened it up.

The first thing that I grabbed was the baby blanket Elizabeth had started making the first day she found out about my being pregnant. It was still in perfect condition, thanks to Alice. It was a soft yellow, with a beautiful design and lace trim. I brought it to my nose, sniffing it before placing it at the end of my bed. The next thing I grabbed was a thick quilt that my mother had made me while growing up. Every different pattern was a design from every single dress she had made me. There was a corner patch with my name on it in pink. I also set it on the edge of my bed before going through the rest of the chest.

I grabbed the ahold of all the baby dresses I had made for my tiny Emily, smiling softly as I went through each one. I walked to put them on the same rack as the rest of my old dresses. I hung them all up and turned around, not wanting to break down.

I hummed along with my music as I dug through the rest. I grabbed my jewlery box that I have had since I was born, and placed it on my vanity. I had all of my mothers jewlery inside, along with everything that Alice or Jasper have gotten me. I also placed my hair products on the vanity, too. Alice usually did my hair, but I always kept something incase.

I grabbed my journals and notebooks, setting them on the shelf next to my books. I kept my most recent journal on my bedside table, though.

There was a knock on the door, and Alice walked in before I could even turn my head. "Hey, you need any help?"

I smiled at her, closing my chest. "No, I just finished. But, you can help me grab all of these boxes if you want."

"Sure."

We both grabbed all of the boxes and walked out of the room after I kicked the door shut. I looked down as we ran down the stairs. Alice walked to the kitchen and simply tore every box to shreds, doing the same thing to the boxes in my hands. I raised my eyesbrows when she put the pile of paper into the garbage. "What? It was the fastest way! Don't look at me like that."

I laughed and playfully shoved her shoulder. "Can we go shopping? I have no clothes."

She squealed and threw her arms around me, jumping up and down. "I told you you'll enjoy shopping one day. Oh, wait here. I'll get Rosalie and Tanya."

"Great." I mumbled after her. "And I don't want to go, I just need to!"

I sighed and walked into the living room. Jasper and Emmett were playing videogames, yelling at the t.v. Boys will be boys, no matter what age they are. I looked over and Edward was by the glass wall, looking out into the early morning sky. I walked over to him, stopping by his side.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" I murmured, glancing at him from the corner of my eye. The mountains in the distance truly were a sight to see. He simply shrugged, his expression complicated. I turned my body towards his. "What's wrong?"

I didn't want to pry, but I hated seeing him look so lost. When he looked down at me, my breath caught in my throat. I had to bite my lip to keep from gasping. His stare sent shivers down my spine.

"I'm sorry I cannot remember you." He murmured. "I really do want to remember."

I nodded slowly, looking away. He had no idea how much I wanted him to remember, or to at least feel the same way as I. That's all I wanted. For him to reciprocate my feelings. Or for him to at least feel what I feel for him.

"Can you tell me something? Anything that might make me remember?" His voice suddenly turned hopeful.

I stared up at him. His gaze turned my insides to mush. I wanted to scream at him and tell him everything we had ever done together. I wanted to kick him and punch him for not being able to remember me. I wanted to cry in his arms and be mad at him. But I couldn't bring myself to be mad at him. His eyes held so much, so much that I not only wanted, but needed. Even if he was in my life as a bestfriend, I could somewhat handle that. I had to be patient.

"I cannot make you remember, Edward." I shivered when I said his name. "Like I said, it will come to you."

Alice walked into the room in perfect timing with Rosalie and Tanya behind her. She gave me a sympathetic look, but winked when Edward walked over to Tanya. I breathed in deeply and turned around sharply when he kissed her. It hurt more than I thought it would.

I stomped into the car, slamming the door shut behind me. Alice stormed behind me, gliding into the drivers side. "I cannot believe that stupid fool. Ugh! I do not understand him one bit."

Rosalie, who was sitting in the backseat, spoke up. "You actually believe he loves her?"

I looked back at her with a confused look. "What do you mean?"

She scowled at me, but answered anyway. "Edward settled for Tanya because he wanted love. He picked the first one that came to him, instead of waiting."

My heart swelled with hope. I'll just show him what real love is. I will make him remember without telling him. I turned around and shut up when Tanya came into the car. Alice quickly sped down the driveway, chatting away with Rosalie.

I did not understand why Rosalie liked Alice but not me. She seemed perfectly nice and fun with Alice, but turned into an ice queen when I tried talking to her.

I turned my CD on, enjoying the familiar notes that spread throughout the car. I sang along quietly, closing my eyes. I was almost at peace when Tanya's voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Alicia Keys has a terrible voice. This song is even worse. I mean, her song make no sense. Why would a person act so stupid just because someone left them? Makes no sense to me." She acted as if it made perfect sense.

I turned around to glare at her. "That's because you don't know what true love is."

She scoffed, sneering at me. "Oh? And you do?"

That stopped me in tracks. I wanted to rip her hair out. I wanted to snap her neck. To just be able to get one good fight in. I would show her just who she was messing with. I hadn't realized I was growling at her until Alice slapped me.

"Get it together." She hissed, but I could see the smirk she was trying to hide.

I clenched my fist and hopped out of the car. It was about nine o'clock in the morning, and knowing Alice, we wouldn't leave until closing time. Rosalie and Tanya gave me odd looks as we walked in, but Alice kept talking aimlessly.

The first few hours were simple enough. I was able to pick out my own clothes, but Alice of course would switch out something she thought was ugly or add something she thought would look good. I was okay with that if I was able to get a pair of sweats.

I picked out all skinny jeans and casual t-shirts, but to please Alice picked out scarfs to go with many of them. I grabbed several belts to go with certain outfits, and allowed Alice to grab a few skirts and dresses. That was more of her department. I sighed happily when I was able to grab yoga pants and sweats. Alice grumbled but perked up when she saw they were actually cute. I grabbed a few jumpsuits and even a pair of sunglasses. I loved little things that made outfits cute, I just wasn't good at putting them together.

When we walked into the shoe store, Alice went crazy. Even Rosalie seemed shocked at her energy. I, being used to it, simply went ahead and grabbed my own shoes. I picked out several pairs of sneakers, but picked out a lot of ballet flats and boots. I also grabbed a few pairs of heels, but kept those to a minimal. Alice scowled when she seen I picked out a few tennis shoes, but let me get them anyway.

More hours passed as we went from shop to shop. Alice basically re-did Rosalie's entire closet, giving her good advice on what looked good on her. I noticed that she gave Tanya advice on things that would look absolutely terrible on her, and even picked out the ugliest items for her to get. I cracked up when I figured out what she was doing.

We had made more than ten stops to drop off our bags in the car, and already Rosalie and Tanya were going to have to squeeze in the back seat. I shook my head when Alice walked back into the mall. We were getting odd looks from other shoppers and employees. I cringed when she pulled us into a lingerie store.

"Alice! Can I just meet you guys somewhere else? How about you pick some things out for me?" I suggested, taking a few steps off to the side. She just shook her head and grabbed my arm tightly, pulling me along with her.

"Bella, you will thank me one day for this. Trust me." I highly doubt that.

All three of them ran to different parts of the store. I walked over to where Alice was standing, looking at different sets. I felt so out of place in this store. Or like someone was going to judge me for buying undergarments.

"Alice, I feel odd in this store." I grumbled, looking at a black bra in my size. I grabbed it and grabbed a white one to go with.

She noticed what I grabbed and nodded her head. "You need to buy a few push-ups, they will look fantastic with the outfits we bought."

She ignored the fact that I felt weird in this place, telling me to grab what I like. I sighed and walked over to the blue section. Edward had always told me that blue looked amazing on me. I pursed my lips, trying to figure out what to grab.

I grabbed a midnight blue bra with dark lace on the edge. There was underwear to match along, and it was also a push-up. So I used Alice's advice and also picked out what I like. Score for me. I picked out at least one set in each color and grabbed a few more before I heard Alice call my name.

I looked over to see that they were all by the changing rooms, so I picked up one more pair of panties and walked over to the check out. The male employee just about choked when he seen me, and was close to drooling when he seen what I was paying for. I bit my lip to keep from groaning. I hated the attention that came with my immortal body.

After paying for my items and politely dismissing the guy's attempt to ask me out, I walked over to the girls. Alice and Rosalie were both carrying their own purchases in a store basket, but Tanya was in the changing room. I rolled my eyes and sat next to them.

"Have you both found what you wanted?" I asked, trying to make conversation.

They both hummed in response. Obviously I missed something. They both looked pissed off. I raised my eyebrows at Alice, asking what happened. She simply tilted her tiny head towards Tanya's dressing room and made a circle with her hands, acting as if she were choking someone. I grinned and shook my head, leaning back.

When Tanya walked out, my jaw dropped. She was gorgeous. Of course Edward would want someone so beautiful. Her body was perfect, with curves in all the right places. The blood red corset and panty set she wore contrasted with her pale skin and hair to perfection. I looked down and tried to stop the thoughts of her and Edward running through my head.

"Oh! I like this one! It looks perfect!" Tanya gushed, twirling infront of the three-sided mirror. She turned around and looked straight at me. "Bella, do you think Edward will like this one?"

I lost it. She _knew _exactly what she was doing. She knew I had feelings for him and was using it against me. I seen red when I looked at her, and her grin only widened when she realized she hit home.

Rosalie spoke up before I could scream out every profanity that I could think of. I was ready to tear her perfect hair off of her perfect shoulders. "Oh, really? So, does that mean you got him to actually have sex with you, let alone touch you?"

I could have kissed Rosalie if not for the fact that she would probably rip my head off. Edward hadn't let anyone else claim him, to explore with him physically. That was still something we shared. He hadn't made love with anyone but me. I knew that deep down he remembered me. I was whooping internally.

Tanya scowled but otherwise looked back to the mirror. "Hmph. Well, that's because he wants to wait until marriage. That's fine with me."

I stood up, glaring at the back of Tanya's head. "Come find me when your done here, Al. You know where I'll be."

After she nodded to me, I walked out of the store in a quick haste. I didn't know if I wanted to go sit in the car or tear someone's head off. People stared at me as I jogged to the car, but I could honestly careless.

I only had to wait five more minutes before they all were cramming more bags into the back seat and trying to squeeze in after. I had to laugh a little when Rosalie growled at Tanya because she was to close. I was just glad it wasn't me that was stuck near Tanya.

"Alice? Can we stop at Wal-Mart or something?" All three of them groaned when I said that. "What?"

"Bella, you know I _hate_ Wal-Mart." Alice said, but turned onto a different road anyway.

"Well, we can go somewhere else. I just have to get hair products." I muttered.

After another half hour of shopping aimlessly and being immature, we finally made it back to the Cullen mansion. Alice already took the deed of calling it home. I didn't feel quite comfortable yet to be able to feel at home.

I quickly sped upstairs to put all of my bags away, zooming away from the welcoming couples. I angrily pressed play on my stereo and ripped open all of the bags to put everything away. Sighing, I started to put everything on hangers.

This was going to be depressing.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry about the long delay! I'm BACKK! Hope you like Chapter 5, I'm already almost done with 6. (: Please leave REVIEWS at the bottom. **

**xoxo~ Alana (:**

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><p>The days following our arrival were much more normal. Alice and Jasper got to know Edward more and Alice tried to make Tanya feel unwelcome without Edward catching on. I spent most of my time with Esme and Carlisle, enjoying how calm and understanding they both were. I also spent alot of time with Emmett, but him and Jasper were constantly betting on something and being boys. Jasper enjoyed being able to just hang out with someone other than two girls. I felt sympathy for him, but it soon would turn into jealousy when I remembered that he didn't need friends because he had Alice.<p>

Alice was dead set on trying to make Edward remember me by saying certain things or even reminding him of things about me. Nothing worked. I would simply walk away and sulk in my room.

The best thing that has come out of this was that Edward was constantly trying to get to know me once again. We were always together, getting to know eachother's likes and dislikes all over again. We talked about music, movies, our studies... I never allowed him into my room, though. I had too many things that if he seen, would hurt me to see him with.

Tanya was a problem. Her wardrobe consisted of less clothing everyday. It did not make me feel any better that her body compared to one of a godess's. Her sluttiness was gratting everyone's nerves. She was the only reason that I didn't spend every moment attached to Edward's side.

Though they welcomed us in with open arms, I still felt unwanted in a sense. Everyone was matched up while I had to sit back and watch the love of my life with some other girl. It was heart wrenching, and I had to keep myself shielded to hide my pain from everyone else. Jasper would most likely fall to the floor with the suddeness of my emotions.

The weeks went by faster than I imagined, and all too soon we had to start school. I was used to it, from Alice forcing me to take college corses with her a few times. I had a medical degree, engineering degree, two fashion degrees(to Alice's request) and a mechanical degree. We had also gone to high school a few times, but I could not stand the snobby peers. They knew nothing of how the real world felt.

Sure, being here and actually having a family felt nice, but it wasn't worth it if I couldn't have what I've fought for my whole life. I kept all of this inside though, not wanting to make anyone worry about me.

"Seriously, Bells, I fix everything. She will be gone in a matter of months." Alice tried assuring me while she did my hair for the first day of school.

"Months." I echoed dryly. "Oh yeah, because that's nothing. Imagine having to watch Jasper suck Tanya's face off right infront of you,, and you had to pretend to not care."

She fell silent for a moment, lost in though. I watched her through her mirror as she worked on me. Alice trully was beautiful. She had confessed to me before that she always thought that she was too tiny and that everything about her looked too pointy. I had simply laughed and waved her off. But while glancing at her, I felt selfish. She had opened up to me about her insecurities but she didn't even know mine.

I had never told her how beautiful she was. Her tiny frame fit her personality, and she trully was my hope. I lived off her smiles for the past one hundred years, and I couldn't imagine a life without her. Sensing that I was about to say something, she met my eye in the mirror.

"I've never told you how plain you make me feel. You trully are beautiful, Ali. The only reason I lasted one hundred years without Edward was because your smile reminded me that I couldn't let another person down. I've lived my life, thinking that I have always let everyone down." I admitted, looking down. "I let my family die, and I am the cause that Edward is like this. I asked for it. Do you know how selfish that makes me? And I let Emily down, I couldn't protect her! And now I'm rambling, but what I am trying to say is thank you. For being my sunshine."

Alice stared at me for a few seconds, shocked. Though she was the one person who knew me best, I never really spilt my feelings out to her. She just understood me. In crazy times like this, I can actually throw my little pyschic off balance. A huge smile lit her face in less than a second, and she wrapped her tiny arms around my neck from behind.

"I won't let them hurt you anymore." She whispered. "I won't let them get married. If it's the last thing I do, it will be to get my brother to realize that he loves you."

"And if he doesn't?" I asked as she put her fingers into my hair again.

"Oh, please." She laughed, ignoring my worries.

The next hour she spent pampering me to perfection. We hadn't had much time together since we had moved in, but we took the chance when everyone else was off hunting before school. There was still plenty of time before we had to leave, and Alice was still picking my clothes out.

By the time she completed me, I couldn't speak.

My long hair, almost black, was cascading down my back in soft waves. My bangs were curled up a bit so that there was a little puff, and it looked amazing. With my every move it shone in the light. It contrasted well against my pale skin. My make-up was light; she had gone for a more natural look. She added light brown eyeshadow with a bronzed color on my crease and light mascara. It made my golden eyes pop. She added pale lipgloss to complete my face. My outfit was a whole other story. She chose a forties style dress that reached right past my knees. It was absolutely beautiful. The light blue color complimented me well, and the bra she had me put on made it look even better. The sleeves were short and puffy, but not too much. White lace trimmed the entire dress. She gave me a pair of simple white flats to complete everything.

"Wow." I breathed, twirling in the mirror a few times. Off to the side, I grabbed a few pearl bracelets and my pearl earrings. Jasper had gotten them for me in 1969 for my birthday. After adjusting myself slightly, I turned to Alice.

"I know, I'm a genious. And my brother won't be able to keep his eyes off of you." Alice giggled, kissing my cheek before running off to finish getting herself ready.

I grabbed my 'bookbag', jacket and ipod before walking downstairs. The rest of the family weren't going to be home for another hour or so and it was only two a.m. I decided that I would spend my free time dancing. It was something I enjoyed doing and learning over the years. When I focused on the steps it took my mind off of other things.

I put my headphones in and turned on a song that I knew would relax me enough to actually work up the nerve to dance infront of something other than my mirror. I walked over to Edward's piano room where there were plenty of mirrored walls and took a stance. Once I got into it, I allowed myself to actually spin faster and jump higher. I became more giddy with each leap, and soon I was laughing and singing along with my music. I wasn't sure how long I danced around in the room by myself, but suddenly a small giggle sent me flying to the floor.

"Bella?" I heard Alice ask. "How did you not hear me sneak up on you?"

I huffed and stood up, straightening my dress out. If blood ran through me, my cheeks would have been flaming with color. "I was focused otherwise."

She giggled once again and walked over to me. I unplugged my ipod and put it in my coat pocket. "I never knew you liked to dance. You always shield certain things away from me. I feel like you don't trust me."

I gaped at her, and then sat down next to her on Edward's piano bench. His scent lingered around when I moved, and the glorious scent made me feel better. "I trust you with my everything. My life. My hope, what with is left of it. My future. Being able to make it to the next day." I paused and smiled along with her. "I usually dance when I go hunting because it gives me alone time and takes my mind off other things. When you and Jasper are alone together, I like to sing and draw, and of course there are my instruments. There really is nothing that you don't not know about me, just things I haven't shown you."

She immediately perked up and squealed. "Oh, well, okay then. Anyways, nobody is going to be here for another couple hours. Wanna show me just how good you can dance?"

And that's what we did until everyone came home. We spent the next hours with the radio blaring some of Alice's pop songs. For once in a long time, I trully felt myself smile and laugh freely. I loved feeling loved, and my best friend knows exactly what to do and what to say to make me feel that way.

When everyone walked through the door, 'Get Low' by Lil' John was blaring through the speakers in the living room. Alice and I were back to back, swaying our hair in sync with our hips. Everyone froze when they seen us, staring at me. I could tell that they were suprised to see me actually smiling. Everytime I actually venture out of my room, I'm in a depressed mood.

I didn't miss the way Edward's eyes took in my dress, and I suddenly felt very grateful for what Alice decided to dress me in. I stood up straightly in respect for myself, not wanting to shimmy my goodies infront of other men. It was how I was raised. Alice, knowing what I was doing, simply rolled her eyes and danced her way over to Jasper. I turned back around the moment everyone started talking and went straight for the music room.

When our cars were delivered after our arrival, so were my instruments. I had my violin, saxophone, flute, trumpet, clarinet, harp, and piano. We had sold my piano and just kept Edward's. It was much more beautiful. He was suprised that I played so many different instruments, and we often played together.

I sat on the piano bench and stared at the keys beneath my fingers. I had no passion to play. I could only think of one thing to play, but could not bring myself to do so with everyone in the next room. Edward would think wrongly if I did. So I simply walked away and went straight for my bedroom.

By the time Alice called me down for school, I had snapped twelve trees in half with my shield. I always used my own energy to release my anger. It always calmed me down to an extent, and even helped strengthen my shielding abilites. Alice always complained to me that I didn't need to use my powers on nature, but when I used that compared to snapping someones neck, she shut up.

"It's about time you come out of that hellhole." Tanya said when I walked into the room. Rolling my eyes, I simply shrugged my jacket on that Alice told me to wear for looks. It would be odd if we just wore dresses to school and did not feel the cold at all. I presume people would get suspicious after awhile.

"Tanya." Esme warned, her arms wrapping around my shoulders as she leaned in for a hug. I squeezed her back gently, soothed by her gentle face. She lowered her voice for only me to hear. "Don't let her ruin your day."

Leaning back, Esme smiled and wished everyone else a good first day. I walked on over to Edward, mock-punching his arm. He smiled down at me. "So...are you ready for school?"

"Not one bit." I asnwered lamely. "But going with all of you might be worth it."

His answering smile brightened my entire mood, which had gone down the moment they came home from hunting and Tanya started kissing his neck. Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper squeezed into the back row of our SUV, while Alice and I got the middle. Edward and Tanya both hopped into the front with Edward driving.

"So...Let's play a game." Emmett suggested. I banged my head against the window, sighing softly. I did not want to play a game. I wanted to mope and just spend my time with Edward. Even though not being able to feel my emotions because I cut them off from him, Jasper sent me calming waves. He just naturally could tell when my anxiety spiked.

"Okay!" Alice agreed, her natural bubbly side coming out. "I'll go first. Tanya, truth or dare?"

I turned my head to see Tanya scowling as she looked at herself in the mirror. "Truth."

"Who here do you think is the most beautiful and why?" Alice asked, smirking to herself. After one second, the smug look turned into a sneer of annoyance. I understood why when Tanya answered.

"Obviously myself, who else would I choose?" She added a quiet 'duh' at the end and puckered her lips in the mirror. My right eye twitched in irritation. "And because I'm the prettiest."

A startled laugh burst through my lips and everyone turned to stare at me. I quickly shut up and went back to resting my cheek against the window. Rosalie huffed in the backseat, obviously offended by the lack of acknowledgement to her beauty.

"That is funny how?" Tanya demanded, turning on me. I raised my eyebrows, silently telling her to start something so I could fight with her. Sensing my determination, she just went ahead with her turn. "Bella, truth or dare?"

I glared at her, not wanting the attention on myself. If I did a dare, she could embaress me senseless and make me forever regret it. But if I chose truth, what could she possibly want to know about me? "Truth."

Her smile only grew bigger. "Have you ever had feelings for Edward?"

Shit. Damn her. I kept my face calm and silently prayed that all the acting and drama classes I have taken would show effect at this very moment. The tension in the car suddenly grew very thick as they all waited out my response. I caught sight of Edward's face in the mirror, and he too, seemed like he wanted to know.

"Yes, I have had feelings for him." The car swerved a bit on the road, and I smiled, knowing my next sentence would grate on everyone's nerves. I did not want to lie, so I just killed two birds with one stone. "He was my best friend, I must have felt something towards him to be able to connect the way we had so quickly. He was basically my family, the one closest to me."

Tanya's smirk vanished and beside me Alice giggled, knowing I just told the truth without any of them knowing it. "You know I didn't mean it like that. You must answer your question."

"Oh," I tilted my head sideways and smirked sarcastically. "I did answer my question."

I zoned out the rest of the way to the school. I spent my time day dreaming about Edward, and all of the times he had touched me or kissed me, or told me he loved me. I imagine that I was the one whos' hand he held, and the one he kissed and smiled at like they were the sun. I tried to picture Tanya out of the picture, and it all fit so perfectly. It was all perfect, no flaws, no hardships...but that's exactly why it was a daydream.

In reality there will be fighting. There will pain. Oh-I've felt that part. Nothing is perfect, and when someone wants something to be done a certain way, it gets done that way. And that certain somebody would be Tanya. She sees something and she is not going to stop until she gets what she wants.

Too bad I want it more. And it's not about wanting Edward. I need him. I miss him. I'm not whole without him. I shared a connection with him that I know no other person would understand. The one time I had met Marcus in the Voltrui, he had been astounded by my feelings for Edward, and said that there was no other love as strong. I loved him more than myself, than Alice, than anybody. We had made something so beautiful and unique, and it all got stolen right out of our hands.

And is now sitting right smack dab in the middle of Tanya's palm. That bitch.

Before my thoughts could turn violent, I realized we were pulling up into the school parking lot. Without even noticing who was inside our vehicle, kids started gawking. It was only the first day of school, September 5th, and they already knew that we were new. In a tiny town like this, news travels fast. Tanya started buzzing about all of the attention she was going to get, and Alice looped her arm around mine once we were out of the car. Edward wrapped his arm around Tanya, Emmett doing the same to Rosalie, and Jasper simply holding Alice's hand because she was gripping onto me. I felt so disconnected, so left out. Watching him touch her made my skin crawl, a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"So, I already arranged everyone's schedules. Emmett, Rosalie, Tanya and Jasper are going to be seniors while Edward, Bella and myself will be juniors. I'll be right back to grab everyone's schedule." Alice announced, skipping off towards a door with a bright number "1" above the enterance.

I walked next to Jasper as we all sat down on a table off to the side of the school. Every student that was already here openly stared, but not many kids had already arrived, so the attention wasn't too bad. The only one who wasn't too happy about that was Tanya.

"It would have been so much better if we came late because then we would have made an enterance and everyone could watch us pull up. It would so be like all of those movie moments, ya know? Oh my gosh, hi!" She waved and winked to a student, who seemed to be a freshman, as he walked by. He nearly tripped and wet his pants as he tried to stare at her.

"Must you act like a whore? The whole point is to try and make sure that the humans _don't _find out our secret." Rosalie sneered, the muscles in her arm tightening as she clenched her fists.

"Rosalie!" Edward hissed.

"It's okay, Eddie." Tanya crooned in a pathetic fake tone. "She is just angry that I'm prettier than her."

I couldn't believe how conceded she was. Edward would have never wanted to marry someone like her. He never had a tolerance for woman like her. He wanted someone who was mature but could have a good time, someone that actually cared enough to know him back to front and not care about negative things he had done. His past did not matter to me, neither did his flaws. To me, every flaw that he had was something that made him that much more perfect, which just made him perfect to me.

"So are we still going shopping after school?" Tanya asked Rosalie, ignoring that not even five seconds ago she insulted her infront of us all.

Rosalie's scowl deeped, her eyebrows hitting her hairline. "You are so ignorant. Hell no I'm not going shopping with your stupid ass."

"Babe," Emmett interjected, seeing the drama everyone knew was to come from Edward. "Let's go meet Alice to grab our schedules and make out in a closet or something."

I rolled my eyes, chuckling. As they walked away hand in hand, I couldn't help but to think of why Rosalie was so cold-hearted. Something must have happened to her for her to be like this, and I wanted so badly for her to understand that I could relate to her. I understood her to a level that she could never know, and I wanted for us to be able to become like her and Alice. They went on weekly, if not daily, shopping trips together. Alice even admitted to me that Rosalie explained her past to her, but she refused to tell me.

"Why not?" I had demanded, slamming my book down beside me.

She just giggled and flitted around my closet some more to hang up the dresses she bought me. "I can't just go around and mess up the future. It must play out how it is meant to happen. But you will know soon enough."

And that was the last she spoke of it.

"Alright, here you all are." Alice bounced up to us all, passing out our schedules without even looking at them. She sat on Jasper's lap and winked at me. "Mrs. Cope nearly turned lesbian when Rosalie walked in."

I looked down at my schedule. I could teach all my classes better than the ones who invented most of it. I was living when most of it happened. Of course we had to go along with it, but it wasn't nearly as fun when you had to do it while watching your love, loving someone else.

"What do you have, Bella?" Edward asked me, slipping his schedule to me and grabbing mine. I was too busy watching the smile break across his face to actually look at his schedule. "We have every hour together."

"Oh." I blinked and turned to Alice, who was hiding her grin in Jasper's neck. I kicked her foot in thanks, looking back up at Edward. "Alright, ready to go to class then?"

"If you mean to ask if I am ready to spend the day with a bunch of snobby children who are so vain and cruel, then no. But I am ready to spend the whole day with you." He walked over and helped me stand up, though I could easily do so on my own.

His words made a warm, fuzzy feeling crawl over my skin. It wasn't unpleasant, but different. I could only describe it as a soothing feeling, very normal-like. Grabbing onto his arm and smirking to Tanya, I started walking away from the table. "Good, because your stuck with me."

Lucky for me, every one of our teachers allowed Edward and I to sit next to eachother, only making me use my charm once. Kids stared the entire day, rumors already flying from their lips before some even seen us. The girls only had ignorant and jealous remarks about us girls, but drooled over the boys, Edward especially. The guys were saying and thinking, according to Edward, very disturbing things. I already had to turn down three very brave souls. Not one girl, besides a very snobby girl named Jessica, even attempted to talk to Edward. He gave out free glares.

I was amazed by how educated and fluent Edward was in everything. The way his hand quickly wrote, or the way his tongue brushed across his lip as he spoke to me quietly in spanish. His smile was bright as we playfully argued about who knew more classics in our english class. We both tested out of our trigonometry classes and were able to go straight to AP Calculas. The teacher just about fainted after recieving our tests.

By the time lunch rolled around, I was glad to get out of the small room crammed with too many hormonal teenage boys. Edward grabbed a tray for the two of us to 'eat' while we were in line, insisting to pay for me.

"Do you think they're dating?" I heard a girl whisper behind us. I froze and looked over to Edward, who seemed to be listening as well, but no emotions ran across his face.

"It's totally obvious that they are, I mean, they are constantly together. Why not? I mean, he's totally yummy. It's just too bad that he's taken, becaus I would smash all over that."

I scoffed, shaking my head. Beside me, Edward shivered. Realizing that he has had to deal with the thoughts of everything that I have had to hear all day, I felt stupid. Wrapping my shield around him, careful to only keep a thin layer on him. I kept my strongest layers on Jasper, Alice and Carlisle, for they had thoughts that he couldn't hear. So far, he had thanked me provously for my gift, and was relieved to have a break. I could not believe that I didn't do this earlier.

"Thank you." He sighed, smiling gratefully at me.

I only smiled back, walking next to him as we walked over to the lunch table. Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper were already sitting down. I glanced over to the doors when I heard Alice groan. Tanya was walking beside her, talking aimlessy.

Even when we were all sat down, Tanya kept talking. "And I was thinking about having it glitter themed, or something with alot of diamonds. I want everyone to wear something bad so that I look better. Maybe a peach color, or plum. It will look good with the snow in the background."

I froze, my dead heart stuttering if that were possible.

Since when was their wedding on rush due? They weren't supposed to be getting married until May in two years. Alice had assured me of it. She had promised that I would have enough time to win Edward back. She promised me that he would fall in love with me before her. This was not supposed to happen. Tanya hasn't even thought about planning yet, too engrossed in her cell phone to care.

"Excuse me?" Rosalie asked, just as suprised as me. I was too hurt to realize that she actually showed emotion about something other than her hair.

"I decided earlier that we should push the wedding up sooner, just incase." Tanya explained, her eyes trailing to me.

"What's the point?" Alice groaned, tugging at her hair. I had never seen her so stressed before. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"Doing what, darlin'?" Jasper asked gently, pulling her fingers out of her hair.

Before answering, Alice locked eyes with my own. I could only imagine what I looked like. Wide eyes, horror-struck mouth hanging open, hands clenched so tight I felt that I could demolish Tanya to rubble.

"Tanya decided that the wedding will be on Christmas day."

* * *

><p><strong>How is it? How do you like Edward and Bella getting kinda cozy?(; Tanya and her snobbishness. Think that Bella will kick her ass? I hope so. Well, sorry it has taken so long. School and softball are kicking my butt. Hope you all like it! (= <strong>

**Wanna know what makes me smile?**

**REVIEWS! (: **


	6. Chapter 6

"Happy Birthday, Bella!"

I gasped as I looked around myself. The living room was turned into a room with a fluffy bed in the middle, large enough to fit more than all of us. There were over thirty pillows on it. Stacks of movies and CD's were beside the T.V., and gifts were in the corner.

It wasn't too much of a party, but something that would hopefully cheer me up. Alice always knew how to make things perfect for me. Everyone wore large grins on their faces, except Rosalie and Tanya. At least Rosalie wasn't glaring; Tanya was full blown scowling.

The other day when we found out that the wedding was in only a few months, Edward never really acted or responded in anyway. Tanya had Alice constantly trying to plan everything, since Alice was her 'Maid of Honor'. Alice had suggested nothing but anything terrible, and if Tanya picked out or demanded something nice, she would order the complete opposite.

Things only became harder to deal with, but I sucked it up, plastering a smile onto my face every morning. But Edward was always with me, melting my fake smile into one of true feelings. I learned about his new behaviors, everything that he has loved over the years. I trully started to believe that he could be able to love me, until we return back to reality with Tanya chatting on his arm.

"You guys..." I choked up. "Thank you."

"Oh, it's nothing, silly! We are going to have so much fun! We have movies, games, music, pictures...I know you don't like nothing big, but I thought that this could be some bounding time and something relaxing." Alice chirped nervously, dancing forward to hug me tightly. She wore a pair of polk-a-dot pajams and her hair were in two, cute little pig tails.

I looked around myself and seen that everyone wore pajamas. I smiled. It was something so tiny that everyone did, but something that they didn't have to. They did it to please me, but they didn't care. It made me feel that much more welcome.

The only person who made me frown was Tanya. Her pajama set was lacey and obviously not meant for what we were doing. It was a black short and tank top set, but was clingy and sexual. She obviously wanted the attention somewhere other than me. Sensing my look, she smirked at me and held herself closer to Edward. His eyes were on me though, and a soft smile placed his lips.

"I'm guessing I have to change clothing?" I laughed, taking the pajama's from Alice's hand. Running to the bathroom, I found a note written on the tag of the shirt.

_Play along with the games we play tonight. Tell the truth. It will help your case big time. Trust me. xoxo, have a wonderful time tonight. Don't worry about Slutbag #1, it's your turn to shine. ~Alice. _

Shaking my head, I ripped the tags into a thousand pieces and threw them into the toilet before flushing it. I never understood why we had toilets if we never used them, besides for looks. I quickly threw on the midnight blue, silky pajama set. Dark blue laced the edge of my pants and tank-top. I pulled my hair back with a blue head band that Alice also gave me. I simply left my black socks on, throwing the rest of my clothes into my hamper.

"So, Bellaboo, ready for some Truth-or-Dare?" Emmett asked when I walked back in, giving me the largest hug and swinging me around. I laughed and simply nodded my head.

When I sat down on the enormous bed, Edward came to sit next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder when I layed my head on him. This was our casual position, something not to obvious but just friendly. "Happy Birthday."

"Ugh," I whispered. "Don't remind me. I hate the time around my birthday."

"Why?" He asked, his finger playing with a strand of my hair. Tanya was seething at his gesture from his other side, glaring with such an intense level of hatred it almost reached the halfway point of what I thought of her.

Alice and Jasper both looked over to me with raging eyes, and everyone else noticed it. I bit my lip and held back my answer. Instead saying something that would satisfy everyone. "I lost someone dear to me many years ago around this time."

Some dear, indeed. Someone that we had made together. Our own creation from pure love. But of course I couldn't say this to him. Or to anyone for that matter.

"Who was it?" Tanya asked. If the question came from anyone else it would have been simple enough, just an innocent thought. But it was rude and etched with sarcasm when she said it. She obviously wanted to cause me pain. Oh, how I wished I could just show her my true temper.

Alice hissed from the other side of our circle, flexing her arms the slightest bit. Jasper put his hand to her shoulder, calming her down. His eyes met mine in a very quick flash, something no one would notice. But I did, knowing him better than them. He wanted to know if I need help not answering the question.

I shook my head and answered truthfully. "Her name was Emily."

Talking about my baby with Edward holding me felt so wrong. He should be able to morn along with me, to remember feeling her soft kicks through my skin as we made love. Or talking to her every morning and night and any time in between. He fell in love with her the moment I told him. I could remember the excitement that would radiate off of him as the time got closer and closer for her to arrive. He had always wanted a little girl, someone that he could raise and protect with his life.

But I had let him down.

I let my poor Emily down.

I let Alice down year after year as I killed people for humor.

I let everyone down.

"Bella!"

I looked up at the sound of my voice. Everyone was staring at me like I was slightly delusional. Alice had jumped on top of me and, guessing from the movement of my head, slapped me. Jasper was sending out strong waves of calm to me, and I allowed myself to endorce it.

"Are you alright, Bella?" Carlisle asked from the side of me. No one knew about my blackouts but Alice and Jasper, and I wanted it to stay that way. But I felt bad for making everyone worry.

"Yeah," I shook my head to clear it. "Sorry, got lost in thought."

Understanding my want to change topics, Jasper punched Emmett in the arm. "Truth or Dare, butterfly?"

Emmett laughed cockily, shoving him in return. "_Please!_ Give me all you got, buttercup. Dare."

Alice started giggling and nodded at Jasper. He puckered his lips in a way to keep from laughing, telling Emmett what to do. "I dare you to tell every person in the room something that you don't understand about them."

Emmett scoffed, not realizing the fight that Jasper was trying to get out of Tanya or Edward. I rolled my eyes as Emmett started to his right, Rosalie. "Babe, I don't understand why you don't like Bella. She's cool as fuck." I looked down when Rosalie glared at her mate and then myself. I didn't get it either. "Esme, I don't understand how you deal with us all. Your like, super mom."

"Thank you, Emmett." Esme smiled brightly, and I could see in her eyes how lovely and wonderful she was. She truly loved us all as her own children.

"Carlisle, I don't understand how you don't hit any of us sometimes. If I were you, there would have been so many times somebody would've gotten popped." Carlisle chuckled at his choice of words, everyone rolling their eyes. But it was true. I didn't even reach half the person Carlisle is.

"Jasper, I don't understand how you can be mellow one minute and then cool as fuck another. Alice, whoa girl, I don't understand how you can be so tiny and have so much damn energy."

"Too much." I joked, reaching over to playfully push her shoulder.

She grinned at me and winked. "Nah, you have more than me."

Tanya scoffed. "Bella? Energy? Please...the most energy I have seen her show was reading a lame book."

"You don't even know me." I hissed. "You know nothing about what I've had to go through, or what I've seen. You know nothing about my life, so don't talk like you do."

She lifted one blonde eyebrow, her nose flaring. "What life do you have outside of your bedroom?"

I felt the need to run out of the room. My stomach dropped as a new, overwhelming feeling filled me. I realized that I was embarressed a second too late. Alice had already seen my facial expression before I could place my mask over the top. But it was not her raged voice that exploded through the room. It was the most beautiful voice in the world.

"That is _enough!_" Edward growled at Tanya, his voice loud and demanding.

"Eddie!" She gasped, staring at him in mock-horror. "How dare you? Did you just choose that slut over your own fiance?"

"She's the slut? Okay..." I heard Rosalie grumble under her breath.

"If it was the right thing to do, keep in mind it was, then yes. You stepped over the line. Stop acting so obnoxious and childish." I stared in wonder as Edward turned to face me, his hand tightening around mine. To him, those simple words he just told Tanya were the truth, but to me they were him finally coming around. A part of him, and I have no clue how large, wanted to choose me over her.

The tension in the room was thick before Emmett broke it. "I never finished, so 'imma start with Tanya. I don't understand the way you act and how cruel you can be." He kept on going, ignoring Tanya's protest. "Edward, I don't understand how you can't remember someone as awesome as my BellaBear."

I looked up and grinned at him, glad that he could look past my pyschotic ways. But when he did me, a frown replaced my smile. "BellaBear, I don't understand why your so sad."

Sighing, I simply shrugged, trying to change topics. "This game blows, how about we watch some movies?"

And that's what we did. Alice knew that I always was a softie for chick-flicks and romance comedys, but nothing could up-hold my movie crush on Adam Sandler. I absolutely loved his acting, and his movies always made me laugh. We watched The Notebook, The Proposal, Grown-Ups, Hitch, and even had a Saw Marathon. It was absolutely amazing, especially since I was laying next to Edward the entire time. Since my birthday was on Friday(the 13th, of course), we had the entire weekend to have fun. We all played games, told funny stories from the past one hundred years, listened to music and debated over the hideous style of the music from the 80's.

"Don't get me going on Madonna." I mock growled at Emmett, who was blaring her terrible CD. I hated Madonna. She was just so...weird to me. Alice always liked the more up-beat music, and was on Emmett's side.

"Oh, common! She's classic! You have to love Madonna!" I violently shook my head and sped over to change to CD. I grinned as Usher's first album started blaring through-out the room.

"Now, Usher has got to be the greatest R&B artist of all time." I announced, swaying to 'My Way.'

"You have always had a thing with the early two thousands." Alice rolled her eyes. "You love Usher, Alecia Keys, Mariah Carey, Christiana Aguilera, but you always felt guilt for making them make you smile."

"Why?" Edward asked as he sang along with the lyrics with me. I smiled at him, not wanting to answer Alice's question. But he wasn't having that. "You have a beautiful smile, don't let anyone make you feel guilt for sharing it."

I looked down, grimacing. "I've let down too many people to be able to feel happy. They all come first, then my happiness. Everyone must be happy before I rest." I really hoped he understood the meaning of my words. Of course he did not, but Alice did, and she stared at us while we stared at eachother. In translation, I would not stop fighting for him until I knew he was happy-with me.

His eyes twinkled down on me. I had not realized how close we had gotten until our feet touched. Just as he was going to speak, a nasaly voice, that could only belong to the ice bitch herself, spoke up. "Edward. Dance with me."

I could see the sigh fall from his lips as he turned from me. I spun around only to be faced with Rosalie. Around us, everyone was dancing together. Carlisle had long gone to work hours ago, and Emmett was cracking lame jokes with Esme. "I'm so sorry!"

Rosalie smiled slightly before motioning for me to head towards the door. "Can we talk?"

"Of course." Anything to be able to at least have a speaking friendship. Alice winked at me encouragingly as I looked at her in confusion. It was awkward as we walked into the forrest, but as soon as we hit the trees, we both took off running. We only ran for a minute, but it took us out of hearing range. Just in case, though, I put up my shield around us.

Rosalie turned around from me and looked in the opposite direction. "Bella, do you know that I did not want to become like this?" She gestured to her glorious body.

I nodded, but realized she couldn't see. "I figured it out. I just don't understand why you hate me so much."

She laughed quietly. "Jealousy and hatred are two different things, Bella."

When she turned around, her eyes pierced into my face. I did not understand. Rosalie? The incarnation of beauty, Rosalie, was jealous of me? What could she possibly be jealous of? I was slightly crazy and always going pyscho, my own thougths and memories pissed me off every second of the day. My looks were not that amazing, dark on light. She never failed to throw me off.

"That...that makes no sense." I managed to get out. "What is there to be jealous of?"

"Bella, you have no self-esteem at all. I may seem overly-confident, but when it comes to other people, I hate when they rival my own looks. Yes, it is very trivial and childish, but you are too pretty for me. You three just waltzed into our house, making everything different all of a sudden. And you didn't even seem like you appreciated it, always stuck in your bedroom." Rosalie shook her head at me in confusion.

"Hurting and bratiness are two different things, Rosalie." I quoted her from earlier. "I stay up there to let my heart have a break."

"From what, though?" She yelled, her eyes suddenly storming. Days ago, I realized what Alice had said when she meant me and Rosalie were alike in so many ways we would never understand. A commercial was on for a baby store, and two seconds before Rosalie was clicking through the channels a mile a minute. As soon as she seen the commercial, she stopped dead in her tracks and looked in wonder. I just haven't had the right time to actually talk to her about it.

"I was eight months pregnant when I was bitten."

Saying the words were like a weight falling off my chest. Though I crumpled to the floor and wrapped my arms around myself, hiding my face into chest, I felt like I could finally surface the water I have been drowning under. I did not want to see her laugh in my face or say she did not care.

Silence. All I heard was silence. Then two gentle arms trying to pry my arms from my face. When I looked up, my lip trembling, I seen Rosalie with the saddest expression, a look of understanding. I wrapped my arms around her, sobbing into her blonde hair. She cried into my shoulder, both of us keeping the other from drowning.

It could have been minutes, hours, or even days when we both pulled away. She gave me a soft smile, keeping my hand in her embrace. "Bella, I can't tell you how sorry I am. For everything I've done to you, or said to you. I-I don't know what to say, or how to say it, but please forgive me and tell me that we can be friends."

I smiled brightly. It was what I've been waiting for. "Of course, Rosalie."

We stayed on the forest floor for what seemed like hours, her explaining to me why she was so jealous, how she became immortal, all of her human life. I listened and realized that she just told me something even more powerful than my baby news. Rosalie had been raped, and that is what led up to her immortality.

The same thing led up to my immortality.

"Rosalie..." I bit my lip. "Promise not to tell anyone yet."

"Not to tell what?" She asked, her brow furrowing.

"Just promise." I begged.

"Yes, of course I won't tell."

I took in a deep breath. "When Alice told our stories, we did not lie, we simply didn't tell the whole truth. I had moved to Chicago when I was fifteen years old. Almost immediately Edward had become my best friend. Everyday we walked to and from school together, church, our music lessons. We did everything together. For that time period, I did not like following rules. I was constantly doing things I should not have done, always playing with the boys instead of oggiling them under an umbrella with girls. Edward liked that about me, and taught me things that I use to this day.

After months of becoming so close that it was hard to be seperated, he made me a promise that we would marry. Now, we did not last long promised. At only sixteen years old we were married and living in our own house. While he worked, I was always with Alice and Elizabeth at their house with my mother. My life was nearly perfect."

I smiled at the memory, looking up to a shell-shocked Rosalie. Her mouth was open and her golden eyes wide as can be. "You see, I was so happy. So, so happy. But my life wasn't perfect. That is, until I found out I was pregnant. Edward loved our tiny baby as much as me. My life was absolutely perfect as could be. Until the Spanish Influenza hit. It killed our parents in just a couple weeks, never getting ahold of me or Alice. Carlisle was soon another lifevest that kept me above the water. He was the only father I had left. I became so close to him because he was also the doctor that took care of my pregnancy needs.

After Edward had 'died', I went crazy. Only a week later we had everyone's funeral, which poor Alice had to take care of. I was in too much pain, constantly attacking strangers and having panic attacks. The night of the funeral, me and Alice were at the cemetery very late. As we were walking back, it was then we were attacked."

My voice cracked as I voiced the memories I had never shared with anyone. Alice had explained everything to Jasper many years ago, sparing me the extra pain. "I could feel my baby kicking as the fire raged on. She felt my pain, the pain that killed her." I was now telling my story through sobs, hoping Rosalie could understand. "Through the fire, the pain, I could feel hands on me. There were three people. Then they opened my eyes, forcing me to watch as one of the men raped me, taking away something only Edward had ever touched. They beat my baby while my skin was hardening. I could do nothing to protect her as she slowly died along with me. The terrible thing, one of them was a female. She was the one who forced Alice to watch as they tortured me."

I couldn't speak anymore, and before I fell to the ground, Rosalie wrapped her arms around me, cradiling me to her chest. My sobs shook the two of us, my hands clutching the silk shirt on my stomach. "I've never had a problem with blood. Even as a newborn. Alice never had a problem because she had seen us hunting animals, so killing humans was never an option for her. I killed people, monsterous men that had raped young girls, and did not even drink their blood. I've killed hundreds, but never tasted. What does that make me? More of a monster? I have constantly let down Alice. I had let down my baby Emily, and now I am letting everyone else down."

"No." Rosalie murmured, almost a soft choo. "Just think of all the girls you saved, Bella. I did the same thing, I killed those men. Hell, Edward has kill thousands of those men. You are not the only one that has regrest, but you are the one that has the greatest reason."

My sobbing had stopped, but I still felt the pain. "I try not to act crazy, but it doesn't help that I can't even talk about this to Edward. It hurts me even worse that he can't remember! After everything..." I shook my head, not wanting another crazy episode.

"We will make him remember. He will not marry Tanya. Both of you deserve to finally be happy." Rosalie vowed, smoothing my hair back with her soft touches.

After several minutes of dead silence, I spoke up. "I have blackouts. When I get over emotional and think too much about my pain, I sometimes faint or go into a coma-like stage. That happened earlier." She gasped softly, her fist clenching in understanding. "Do you think I'm crazy?"

Her expression softened to one of compassion. "No, but I know that you have been through too much."

We both stood up, and I hugged her as tightly as I could. "Thank you for listening."

When we reached the house, I took down my shield and gave a small smile at Rose. She beamed a me before running toward Emmett. Everyone was still listening to music when I walked into the room. The clock told me it was nine at night, proving that Rosalie and I had been in the woods for two hours.

"Bella!" Alice screeched, clutching my side the moment I took my now dirty socks off. "We have to open presents!"

I sighed. "You didn't do too much did you?"

"Oh, of course I did. Now come on."

Everyone sat down on the other side of the bed from me with wide smiles. I sat across from them all, trying to ignore the video-recorder in Emmett's hands. Alice had each of them hold the present they had gotten me in their laps. Alice eagerly shoved hers into my hands first.

"We have a rule in this family to only get eachother one gift, or else we always go over board." Esme explained, smiling at me.

I nodded, ripping the pink bow off my present and sticking it onto Alice's forehead. She giggled and started bouncing as I ripped the paper off. I stared in silence and wonder at the soft dress material in my hand. It was the dress that Elizabeth had made me after I married Edward, a wedding gift you could say, as if our house was not enough.

The silk bust was a dark blue, and the corset strings were a velvety black. The different blue pattern was a mixture of different blues with a soft touch to the side. Along the edges of the sleeves, neckhem and bottom were dark blue lace. At the bottom of the box, I could see my old black booted heels that I wore with this dress before it was ruined many, many years ago.

"Alice..." I choked up. No one would understand the meaning of this dress. No one but Alice. It was my favorite dress, the dress that Edward absoolutely adored on me. This was the dress I wore when I was tortured into this life, the dress they tore apart and shredded to pieces as they beat me. "How in the world...?"

I shook my head at the loss of words I felt. Alice gave me a small smile, and I knew it was hard for her to think of that day, too. "While you were beating me to pulp, the entire time I was picking up the pieces. I've been working on it ever since, trying to hide it from you. It was hard finding the same exact cloths, but I finally did. So, happy birthday, Bella. Everything will get easier soon, I promise."

My arms were around her before she even finished her explanation. Through all my hard times, my fun times, and all the times she has had to chase me down from ripping myself apart, Alice was always there. No matter what. She loved me, and there was no doubt in the universe that I loved her even more. She was my rock. My sunshine.

"What is so important about the dress?" Edward asked.

I looked up and smiled at him. He seemed almost hesitant to ask, but I knew he only wanted to figure me out. "Your mother made this dress for me. In the...process of my change, it was ruined. And it was my absolute favorite dress."

Rosalie gasped in understanding. Everyone turned to face her in confusion, but me and Alice simply smiled at her. I wanted to stay clear of the topic of our change, and Alice knew that. She motioned for Jasper to give me his present. I smiled at him, taking to tiny blue bag from his hand. I threw the colored tissue out, reaching inside the bag. I smiled at him when I seen it was a black leather bracelt, part of it being braided leather.

I put it on my left wrist, seeing as Jasper put his matching one on his right wrist. It was simple enough, and something that I could wear with everything. It was me. "Thanks, Jazz. I love it."

"Anytime, sis." He ruffled my hair, and in our normal behavior, I swatted his hand away. Everyone laughed, and I smiled at Emmett when he impatiently shoved his large box into my lap. I had a hard time seeing over it, and it had to weigh over a few hundred pounds. Curiously, I ripped the box apart and came face to face with a bolder. A huge mother fucking rock.

I laughed hysterically when I realized what Emmett had gotten me. A re-match for every time I had beat him at arm-wrestling. Of course, I only beat him with the strength of my shield, but he didn't need to know that. Everyone else laughed along with me, and it trully was a free moment. A family moment.

"I'm only kidding ya'." Emmett joked, handing me another small birthday bag. I took it curiously, my giggles slowing. "Here is my real gift for you."

I unwrapped the present and was suprised to see a picture frame. The frame itself was a beautifully carved, antique glass. It had swirly designs with real crystals. It matched my room perfectly. He must have asked Alice. The fact that he even asked and tried to make my gift that much more special had me shell-shocked. The picture inside the frame was what suprised me most.

It was of me, Edward and Alice. The two most important people in my world. I remember the day perfectly, but hadn't been aware of Emmett taking the picture. All three of us had been outside, hanging out and talking, and soon me and Alice were wrestling playfully with Edward. In the picture, Alice was on his back with her arms wrapped around his neck, smiling so brightly I could almost hear her tinkling laugh through the picture. Edward was looking at me, with his arms wrapped around me, and my arms around his waist. We both were smiling at eachother, and it almost seemed like my perfect fantasy. It was a pretty day outside, with everything around us bright and colorful.

I looked up at Emmett, who had a knowing smile on his face. Everyone else 'awwed' at the picture, and I bit my lip shyly as I realized that my feelings for Edward were that obvious. The only one who didn't seem obvious to them was Edward. Tanya, on the other hand, did not seem to like this picture.

"When the hell was this taken?" She growled, looking at Emmett with a scowl.

Emmett's smile turned into a smug smirk. "Obviously when you weren't there."

Her glare turned on Edward, who was smiling at the picture. "What were you doing in this picture? Groping her?"

"Of course not, Tanya. Must you be so dramatic? It is just a picture, it's not like I'm asking her to marry me. I am marrying you." Edward said, his tone distant. I winced from his words, biting my lip.

Of course, right? He thought so. Of course he would not want to marry me. He wanted to marry her. The stupid strawberry blonde. But he loved me. I just had to make him realize it. He didn't make it easy.

"Must _you _be so dramatic?" Alice asked her brother, her eyes blazing. "Your the crazy one for wanting to marry her."

"Alice." Esme scolded, sensing the fight. Her scolding wasn't because she thought it was necessary though, just forced.

I quickly took the small gift from Rosalie. She gave me an apologetic smile when I opened the box to see a simple silver chain, but it somehow was beautiful. Simple but the chain was very elegant. I opened Esme's gift and seen a very vintage journal. She explained that Alice had told her I write alot. When I opened Carlisle's gift, I was confused.

In my hands was a leather necklace with a beautifully engraved symbolic stone. I had noticed that every one of the Cullens owned one of these stones. Edward wore his on a leather, indian styled bracelet. Carlisle wore his on a ring and Esme had hers on a necklace. Rosalie had a necklace, too, but hers was on a byzantine chain and Emmett's was on a rolo chain.

I realized with a start that this was the Cullen Crest that the family all wore.

And Carlisle was giving me one.

I stared at the piece of jewlery in my hands in silence. I couldn't speak, too overwhelmed with emotion. I wanted to say thank you and smile and show how happy I was feeling on the inside. But if I let them know that it pleased me, somehow it would get taken from me. I slowly opened my mouth to say thank, only for my physical emotions to take control. I was not expecting myself to jump up and hug Carlisle, but nothing I did was ever predictable.

"Thank you so much." I whispered quietly.

"You are apart of this family. And we all wear these as a symbol of our love for one another, for us to remember that we are a family. You must remember that. We care about you, Bella. We all love you." Carlisle whispered the words in my ear, and the words 'we all love you' stayed stuck in my head.

I loved each and everyone of them, minus one, so so much. They were amazing. And it was time to show that I thought so much of them all. "I love you all, too."

I let go of Carlisle and smiled at Esme, and then everyone else in their pajamas. It was so adorable. Edward grabbed my arm, gently walking me around the corner. Everyone followed, Alice the closest with the camera in her hands. She winked at me and pointed to the choker around her neck with the same crest on it. She must have gotten it today and just put it back on. Jasper also smiled at me and nodded towards his braclet.

"I couldn't figure out what to get you for your birthday, Bella." Edward explained to me as he sat us both down on his piano bench. Everyone else stayed further back near the door. "But this melody has been flowing through my head ever since you came here, and I finally finished it. Happy Birthday, Bella, and this one is specially for you. It's called Bella's Lullaby."

I gasped as his fingers slowly moved across the smooth keys, making the most beautiful sound in the world, beside his laugh. It was not only beautifully played, but beautifully recognized. Edward composed this piece himself for our orchestra performace a century ago, and named it Bella's Lullaby. It was the reason why I learned how to play piano after being changed.

And Edward was playing it.

He remembered it.

He was starting to remember.

The moment the piece ended with the softest of notes, me and Alice both screamed in sync.


	7. Chapter 7

**Oh, my silly readers. xD I'm sorry if I did not clarify sooner, but Bella and Alice screamed because this was what they have been waiting for: Edward to remember Bella. He's finally remembering! But will that still keep him from marrying Tanya? Only time will tell...so keep reading! Love you all! 3 **

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><p><strong>**(EDWARDS POV.)**<strong>

Her arms wrapped around me before I could turn away from the ivory keys. Alice was bouncing right behind her with the largest grin. My arms immediately went around her perfect form even though I was mildly confused.

The melody started running through my head the moment her fingers touched my skin when we first met. The electricity I feel everytime I am near her, the comfort she brings me, the sparkle in her golden eyes. Of course I knew it was bad. It was not right of me to think of such things, but I cannot help it.

I am in love with Bella.

But I proposed to Tanya.

I'm in a huge dillema. I had made a promise to Tanya, and I could not just break it off. Plus, Bella would think so low of me, and it hurt me to even think of her looking at me in disapproval. So I had to stick with marrying Tanya. Even though I spent as much time as I possibly could with Bella. I wanted to remember her, to remember if I felt this way as a human. I _needed _to know.

"You remembered." She whispered in my ear. "You remembered my lullaby."

Suddenly my head was filled with pictures, or rather memories playing out. I recoiled in shock, not being used to the feeling of reading thoughts for some time since Bella has been shielding everyone. It was a huge relief. But the other reason I was in shock was because this was a mind I had never heard before. It had the sweetest of sounds.

It was Bella's thoughts.

But the thoughts she was showing me were what really suprised me. It was of me, but through her eyes. Surrounding us was a beautiful, soft room with white curtains and the brightest of green grass outside. The house had white walls and furniture with a comfortable sense to it. It also had a grand piano in the corner, with me playing it. I could hear the same lullaby through the memory as the one I composed for Bella in our reality. I could feel her happiness as she showed me a memory of her and I. The last thing she showed me was a glimpse of me ending the song and taking her hand.

I stared at her in silence for what seemed like years after she showed me. The moment she showed me her memory of us, it was like it snapped everything in me. I could see us walking to school together everyday, me dropping her off everyday, us going to our music lessons together, and performing at a ball.

"I walked you to class everyday and dropped you off afterwards. We attended music lessons together and even performed at a ball in the city." I gushed excitedly.

Bella nodded swiftly. "Yes! Yes, yes, yes. And we won! Can you remember anything else?"

That question stopped me. All of a sudden I remembered everything we did that revolved around music. But that was because she showed me in the first place. If Bella simply showed me everything, then I would be able to remember everything.

I voiced my thoughts. "If you show me everything, then I'll remember it."

Her face fell slightly, a soft smile on her perfect lips. "It cannot work like that. But It will come to you, just have patience, Edward." She stood up and smiled down at me. "But that is the lullaby you wrote for me back then, too. What is the reason you wrote it now? Whatever it may be, it is the same reason you wrote it back then."

And with that she walked away, leaving me giddy and excited.

I wrote it for her because I think I love her, did I love her then, too?

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><p><strong>Alright, I only wrote this VERY SHORT CHAPTER because I wanted to answer all of your confused questions. So, just a short and sweet chapter of what is going on in Edward's thoughts. <strong>

**Okay. So Edward loves Bella. Bella loves Edward. But neither want to ruin the friendship they have for the other to 'maaaaybe' feel the same way. Tisk tisk tisk. **

**Bella's Lullaby: A River Flows In You (Yiruma)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey, Everyone! Im so sorry for the long delay! I've been soooo busy! Seriously. **

**Well, FYI. Last chapter was just a short little thought of Edward's to hopefully answer a few questions. **

**1.)Edward loves Bella, but he is starting to try and make himself fall for Tanya because he thinks that Bella will be ashamed of him for loving her while being engaged to Tanya. **

**2.)I feel an end coming to the story in just a feeeew chapters. ):**

**3.) I might write a SEQUEL. yay. **

** So... PLEASE REVIEW. Hope you like. As always, with love_Alana. 3 **

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><p>I untucked my hair from my shirt, pulling it over my shoulders. Turning every way in my mirror, I made sure my outfit looked okay. I had on a pair of dark jeans with a pair of black sneakers. They made my butt look good. The black tankie I had on looked amazing with my bra, thanks to Alice. But I had no clue why she picked out <em>this <em>type of outfit for me to wear. I shrugged in the mirror, throwing my hair up into a cute, high ponytail.

Turning to walk to my bed, I stopped to look out of my window. Peeking behind my white curtains, I noticed Tanya and Edward in the backyard. I picked up on their conversation easily, feeling guilty for eavesdropping.

"No, you made me do it." Tanya giggled. My heart broke when I heard him laugh along with her. Why is he suddenly being so nice with her?

Just a month ago, on my birthday, I thought I saw a spark of love in his eyes as he remembered me for the first time. I gained hope that day, but every since it has seemed like he was trying to do the right thing by sticking to his word with Tanya and trying to marry her. It was not part of my plan. When he remembered me, he was supposed to fall for me all over again. Why do my plans never work out?

"It's not my fault that you are so tickilish and knocked it over." He playfully growled and jumped onto her. I looked away when they started kissing eachother. I didn't understand him at all. His actions never follow his feelings. So damn stubborn.

Walking out of my room, I ran to Alice's. I could hear her and Rosalie in her closet, and Jasper downstairs with Emmett, so I simply walked in without knocking. Both of them looked over to me and smiled softly, knowing fully well what my problem was.

"Goodmorning, my beautiful sister." Alice smiled, kissing my cheek.

I raised my eyebrow. "Soon enough your going to be saying that to Tanya."

She winced before glaring at me. "Over my pile of ashes."

"I agree," Rosalie said. "Edward is trying to do what he thinks is right, when he is always wrong."

"Wrong indeed." I muttered. Sighing, I switched topics, noticing that they both had on similar outfits to me. "Where are we going dressed like this?"

Both of them smiled at me before pulling me over to Alice's vanity, which was covered in different makeup and hair products. Rosalie started doing my hair as Alice ran back into her closet, not even a second later walking out with three different shirts.

"We are playing baseball." They both said together.

"Baseball?" I asked, watching Rosalie as she frenchbraided my hair. I couldn't hide the excitement in my voice even if I wanted to.

"Yes! So hurry up!" I heard Emmett yell from downstairs.

"Don't rush us!" Alice yelled back, shutting him up. I heard Jasper laugh at Emmett, most likely from being scared of Alice. She sure had her ways with everybody.

The moment Rosalie finished my hair, Alice was pushing a shirt over my head. When I looked in the mirror, I realized that it was a jersey. The front was a button up, with the Cullen Crest over the left breast area. On the back of the jersey I had my maiden name printed on it, 'Swan'. Rosalie had the same jersey but hers' had 'Hale' on the back. Alice's jersey had 'Masen' on it.

"These are cute." I smiled, pushing Alice into the chair I was sitting in two seconds ago.

"Right?" Rosalie agreed with me, braiding her own hair in the mirror as I did Alice's hair.

"I want pigtails." Alice noted. I nodded to her, grabbing a brush. "I had them made so we're going to suprise everyone. I swear, I had 'Skank' on the back of Tanya's, but Esme caught me and told me that it would just cause a fight. But she laughed first."

Rose and I cracked up, and I quickly finished Alice's adorable pigtails so we could go downstairs. Before we left her room, I threw my shield over us three and turned to look at them both. Alice was about to answer my unspoken question but let me voice it for Rosalie's sake.

"Why do you guys honestly think that Edward has suddenly gone all lovey dovey with Tanya this past month?" My voice broke, making me sound pathetic and hopeless. Two things of which I am.

Alice scowled, her tiny nose scrunching up. "One, that bitch is a manipulator. Two, my brother was raised to respect ladies. If he were to brake off his engagement with Tanya because he loves you, he is going to think that either you or all of us will look at him in disgrace. He is a lunatic."

"Oh, yeah." Rose nodded, rolling her eyes. "Edward is such a gentlemen sometimes that he is too much of a gentleman. It's all about what he thinks is right or wrong. And right now, he is trying to convince himself that loving you is bad by trying to force himself to feel love for Tanya."

"But I don't get why." I whispered, turning around so that I didn't have to see their sympathetic looks. Opening the door, I let my shield go as we walked downstairs. In the front room, Tanya was bickering at Edward once again.

"Tell her to stop using it." She sneered, pointing her chin when she noticed me. "Speaking of the loser, tell her now."

"Tell me what?" I asked, squinting at her.

"Bella," I looked over at Edward. He seemed a little reluctant to ask, but still formed the words quietly. "I want you to stop shielding everyone from me."

Alice chuckled from beside me, basically telling me that it was okay if I did that. But it didn't feel right. Too many people knew things about me that he couldn't know just yet. Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme,Emmett, Rosalie. Everyone knew, and that scared me. Anyone of them could just think of something tiny and then he would know something was up. I trusted them, but I was too nervous to risk it.

"That can't happen." My tone sounded slightly bitchier than intended.

"Nice job." Rose whispered in my ear, appreciation in her voice for my attitude.

Of course this got Tanya going. She pointed one of her perfectly manicured fingers in my face. "Listen here, _slut. _You cannot force something onto _my_ fiance and expect to get away with it."

"Last time I checked, you can't do anything about it, can you?" I clenched my fingers to keep from ripping her hair out. "I am shielding everyone because they want their privacy, and they deserve it."

"But I feel like everyone is hiding something from me, and it's really bugging me that I can't find out. It's changing my senses, Bella. I don't feel normal." Edward tried to explain, but he made himself look like more of a fool.

"Seriously, dude?" Jasper chuckled darkly. "Control your girl so we can talk it out. She's raging over nothing big."

Tanya hissed at him, baring her fangs. Alice stepped forward, her shoulders shaking. "If you so _ever_ look at my husband that way again, I'll make sure Bella wraps her shield around you so tight you'll feel the pain of changing all over. I'll make sure that she takes away your sight so that you won't be able to look at him that way again. And if she's not around, I'll fuck you up myself. Do I make myself clear?"

"I don't think I heard you right, bitch." Tanya mocked. I decided to shut her up by taking the 'physical shield' around her body and squeezing it with my mind. Her eyes widened as she felt the pain of me crushing her with the shield. She started screaming at the top of her lungs, and everyone sat frozen as they watched her body distort.

I didn't even stop as I heard the yells of panic coming from Esme as she walked in, or the frantic words of everyone around me as they tried to snap me out of it. I could only faintly hear her piercing screams because everything sounded so far away.

Hearing the screams, I looked over at Alice on the ground. The woman was beating her, ripping her clothes off in rage. Alice only cried and screamed louder, trying to fight her off, but this only hurt her worse. I was suprised when her screaming got louder than I could ever imagine, but then realized it was me who started screaming louder.

Every punch and every scratch forced me to puke with more screams and tears. The dark haired man beat into me hard and fast as he raped me, gripping my stomach as support. His hands were holding it too tightly, hurting my baby. The other man went along my arms and legs and made sure to brake every bone in my body. There was no way to describe my pain, and the other man constantly was shoving me into the ground, forcing my bones to shatter more. The screaming was earsplitting, and I wanted it to stop. I wanted to sleep.

"Bella."

I looked around, but I could only faintly hear my name over the screaming. I could hear it all around me, but could not see where it was coming from. My breathing started to turn heavy as my name was called again.

"Bella, look at me." I looked over at Alice to see her looking at me in pain, but a small smile lit her face when I looked into her eyes. "That's it. Look at me, don't focus on them. Look at me."

And I did. I stared into her beautiful green eyes, the same ones as my Edward. And hopefully my precious Emily. I wanted her to look like him. She could have nothing of me but her knowledge of my love. Alice reached forward, toward my face. Her fingertips reached out as if to brush away my tears. Even though we were five feet apart, I could feel her touch. Slowly, her eyes turned into a blazing gold, staring at me with tenderness.

"Bella."

I looked up at her, realizing that I was on the floor with my arms wrapped around my knees. Tanya was screaming on the ground, even though I knew first hand that it didn't feel so bad. Edward and Esme were holding her down, trying to calm her down. Everyone else was kneeling around me, worry in their eyes. Carlisle was sitting beside me, with Alice and Jasper on my other side. "Make the screaming stop, please."

"Honey," Alice whispered. "Only you can do that. I need you to release the shield around her, Bella. Please."

I turned to stare at Tanya. Slowly, I released the tight hold of her shield, easing it away from her form. If I went too fast, it would knock completely off of her, which would be even worse. She soon stopped screaming and closed her eyes, feeling every inch of herself with her hands to make sure she was intact. I kept my smirk to myself.

When Edward started asking Tanya questions, Esme walked over to me. "Sweetie, are you alright?"

I picked myself off the floor, hugging her tightly. "I'm not really sure."

When we both pulled away, she smiled at me, practically reading my mind. She knew that I didn't want to be asked questions right now, and she knew that I needed to talk with Alice. "Everyone, let's forget about this and go play some baseball!"

Everyone else cheered and made their way out of the house. Everyone could realize that I didn't want to talk about it, and I loved them even more for giving me my own space. Alice was the only one who stuck back with me, and we waited until we could hear everyone running towards the field to talk.

"Oh, Alice!" I bawled, slumping against her. She carried me to the couch and let me sob into her shoulder. "It was so bad this time! I could feel it, I could feel the pain. The screams, the touchs, it all felt so real."

"That's because it was." She quietly told me. "But your okay now. That was a long time ago."

I could feel my eyes darken so much that they turned into a blazing red. Alice knew that I was in a very dangerous train of thought when this happened. It has happened before, after one of my many blackouts. It started when I was still killing men that had done this to other girls. I would blackout afterwards and be in such a mood that I _needed_ to kill another man. For years I couldn't get out of my rampage. It wasn't until I attacked Alice by accident that I broke out of it.

"A long time doesn't change what they took from me." I growled, standing up. I needed to fight, to kill.

"Bella..." Alice said in a warning tone. I could see her eyes glaze over as she checked my future to see what I was planning on doing. I smirked, turning to leave as she was distracted. But her piercing scream sent me out of my frenzy. Gasping as I returned to myself, I spun around to see her gripping her hair.

I raced over, grabbing her face between my hands. "Alice, snap out of it. What's happening? Alice!" She wasn't responding, too stuck in her vision. I had no other choice but to quickly throw my shield over her to block her visions. She was breathing heavy as her eyes focused on mine.

"We have to run to the field. Now!"

I held my hands up. "What's going on?"

She looked me in the eye, and I knew exactly what she meant as she spoke up. "It's time. We're finally going to meet them."

I took off faster than I've ever ran. I threw my shield over both of us, using it to throw us forward even faster. I could see everyone now, our family all in a line. The three _monsters_ looked exactly the same. The female's firey hair was still a tangled mess of wild red curls. Her red eyes contrasted against her hair, making her even more evil looking. The dark haired man was still the perverted fucker as one hundred years ago. He had a straight face on, but I knew he was watching everyones tiniest moves. His red eyes sickened me, and all I could remember was him smiling up at me as he climaxed into me, giving me one last bone crushing thrust.

Then I looked at the leader, James. Slurs of curse words escaped my mouth as I looked at him for the first time in one hundred years. His grimy lips were pulled up in a hideous smirk, and I could see those lips all over my skin as he bit into me. I could see the smile as he beat my baby. I could hear his laugh as he walked away in satisfaction when my stomach deflated as the venom killed my baby.

A growl ripped its way through my throat and I was shaking from head to toe. I knew for a fact now that my eyes were a complete blood red in rage. As we approached the face off, I scooted back the monsters with my shield, freezing them so they could not move anything but their eyes. I threw a shield over everyone behind me except Alice. I knew that she wanted the female's head. I could gladly give her that.

"Bella!" Edward protested, hitting the shield. "Stop! Let me go!"

I ignored him for the first time in one hundred years, too furious. The monsters stared at Alice and I in recognition when he called out my name. But I wasn't as theatrical as they were. I wanted to end them once and for all.

My hands were shaking so hard that I had punch myself to release some of my fury. Jasper tried helping, but I wanted it. I needed it. Smiling at James, I walked forward slowly. All three of them stared at me in terror when they finally understood that they couldn't move. I slightly let go of the shield to allow them to talk.

"I can't even start to explain how happy I am right now." I growled into Jame's ear, grabbing a fistful of his hair and forcing his head to tilt so my teeth were against his juglar. "But I guess I'll start with this."

He screamed when I bit into his neck and ripped a chunk of disgusting flesh out. The hair fisted into my palm was ripped out before he even felt my bite. "You bitch!"

"No, no no." I cooed softly, shoving his head to his left to watch Alice and the redhead. "Your bitch."

Alice started with simple things, biting, hitting, spitting, tormenting. But then she got sick of it and looked at me and nodded. I knew that she wanted me to lift the shield off of her, and I did so without a doubt. I knew that Alice could handle her, and if not I was ready to split.

"Fight me, you bitch." Alice spit out, ready for her attack. And very much predictable, the redhead sped straight at her. Alice simply smirked and waited until last second to use her foot to stomp her onto the ground. This went on for a few more minutes until the redhead got a punch in. This sent Alice over the top, sending her flying ontop of the redhead, repeatedly punching her in the face.

"This is for changing me." _Punch. _

"This is for being a bitch." _Spit._

"This is for tortureing us." _Punch. Punch._

"And this is for everything you've caused my sister."

And then my tiny little Alice took her two hands and gave a short twist, ripping the firey flames right off of her body. I smirked at Alice, who nodded in satisfaction. She met my eyes and I knew mine mirrored hers. Finally we were able to get a little relief. Some closure.

My head whipped back to Jame's face, smiling when he growled at me. "Don't squirm. It'll make everything so much worse."

"You'll pay for this, bitch." He roared, trying to move. But my shield allowed him to go nowhere. I rolled my eyes, forcing him to shutup by taking away his personal shield. Only he could hear himself. But he could still hear us.

"Now how will you do that if I'm going to kill you?" I smiled at him, turning to the dark haired man. I put back his personal shield, allowing him to speak. "What's your name?"

He met my eyes with a very calm look. "My name is Laurent. Please know how trully sorry I am for what I did to you."

With a speed he wasn't expecting, I grabbed him by the throat and forced him to look me in the eyes. "You fucking monster! How dare you apologize for what you did to me! You _raped _me, smiling as I screamed in pain. You laughed as my baby died. And you have the fucking nerve to apologize? How _fucking_ dare you! You let him torture me and the only thing you could do was laugh!"

He flinched from my screams, his nose flaring. "Yes, that is true. But you felt so goo-"

A loud noise from behind us cut him off. I turned around to see Edward slamming against my wall, growling so loud that people in the city might be able to hear. I smiled at him, most of my fury wearing off. I was too mad before and had not realized that I brought up Emily infront of him. He caught my eyes, his growling slowing down.

"Edward." I murmured, taking a step forward. Laurent cut me off, and when I looked back, he was grinning.

"Ah, so this is the man you kept screaming for as I pulsed inside of you. Let me tell you Edward, you have a nice piece of meat going on here." My breathing started turning heavy, my fingers started shaking, my nose flared and my teeth bared.

His body was nothing more than scraps in less than a second. I turned to James, taking the entire shield off of him. This allowed him to move, talk, whatever he normal does. He smiled as he went to struggle once again but ended up tripping. Almost in sync, we both backed away from eachother and crouched down slowly. I didn't move a muscle, ready for the moment he moved. He was slanting into his right side, facing my left side by a little bit. I could see that most of his weight was on his back, right leg. Noticing that he was right handed, I knew that Jame's attack wasn't going to be as powerful as mine. His back was lower to the ground than his head, and his eyes were glancing between my legs and my eyes. He was obviously trying to take out my legs first to get the upper advantage.

The moment he sprang at me, I jumped up into the air, backflipping over him. He ended up skidding into the ground, quickly attacking once again. He had no thought to his fighting. He relied all on his power and agressiveness. But I knew better than that. As he reached out for me, I slid to the ground, forcing him to fly over me.

He growled in frustration, his fingers digging into the ground. Kicking off the ground, Jame's went for me once again. This time I stood still until the very last moment, shoving my foot out directly into his face. He fell to the ground, and I took my opening. I was in no mood for games. I jumped onto his stomach with his hands behind his back. Punch after punch, I was soon clouding out the noises in the background and could not tell if it was me or him that was screaming. I didn't care. I kept punching. And punching.

I'm not sure how much long after I had pinned him that someone was trying to pull me off of him. I shook them off, forcing my fist to repeatedly pound his face in. I grunted with each impact, sobs shaking my entire body. He had punched me just like this for hours in the stomach, crushing my baby as the fire raged on. I couldn't stop now. My Emily deserves justice.

"And you gave Emily justice." I heard a voice say.

Was I talking aloud? Or going crazy? All I knew was that I couldn't stop and that he had to die. I had to end the pain. The evil. The nightmares. I couldn't stop until they went away. It all had to go away. But every time I ounched even harder, the memories became more clear. I could _feel_ the kicks of my baby, hear the screams of Alice. They had mentally disturbed her, etching the memory of my tortures into her head. Was she okay? I punched him even harder thinking about Alice.

"Bella, I'm okay. You need to stop now." The voice whispered in my ear shakily.

"No!" I screamed through my sobs. "He has to die! I have to kill him! He must pay!"

"Look! Bella, you killed him! Look at him! _He is dead!" _The voice screamed frantically, trying to snap me out of my faze.

Looking down, putting my hands on the ground, I seen Jame's red eyes staring at me. The more I looked, the more I realized that he wasn't moving at all. No more screaming. No more biting. No more growling. I hadn't noticed that he ever stopped. As my eyes kept gazing, I realized that I had been punching him so hard and so fast that I ripped his head off during it.

I finally took a deep breath, but when I tried breathing, all that came out were sobs. I couldn't do anything but cry. I could slowly feel myself let my memories flash across my closed eyes. Everything felt so tight, so achy. The person who had stopped me, wrapped their arms around me and rocked me back and forth. I cried into their shoulder, gripping their neck so tight I worried for their safety. But they were the only thing I could hold onto, and I needed them at the moment. I lost track of everything around me as my chest tightened even more.

I couldn't handle the pain. This time, I allowed the blackness to take over.

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><p><strong>Okay, I KNOW that a few things in this chapter are going to get questions. So, if your confused...<strong>

**At the beginning, with the Tanya and Bella cat fight_Bella had one of her blackouts. **

**At the end, while she kicked Jame's ass, I added no back talk from anyone because Bella was supposed to be in her own world. She sorta had a mini blackout and was fighting mainly on her built up rage. **

**Edward had freaked out because he _does _love Bella, buts he just afraid to show it.**

**TIMELINE. _**

**Last chapter was Bella's birthday, September 13th.**

**This chapter is in November. Keep in mind that the big day is only ONE month away. **

**Alright, now I can say it. DUN DUN DUN... a lot is about to happen because of what went down. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi guys! I'm alive! So so sorry about this LOOOOOOOOOONG delay! I have been SO busy! But...volleyball is over now, and I only have softball on the weekends from now on. I should be able to speed things up from now on.**

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><p>The flowers swayed around us, the wind blowing my hair. Edward smiled, grabbing a piece and twirling it around his finger. I reached forward from my knees, wrapping my arms around his neck. As our lips met, I could only focus on him. On how I could feel the warmth of his skin through my dress. On how I could hear his heart beating fast and his breath hitch every time my hand tugged the hair on the nape of his neck. Everything in this moment was perfect.<p>

The boys swarmed around me, asking many questions that I didn't know the answers to. Why was I so pretty? When was Edward going to be here? I was backed into the corner of the alley way near the corner store. Mother had asked me to run and buy more milk because we were out. I guess I did not pay attention to the time. It seemed that fear had paralyzed my vocal cords as I was not able to make a sound. The boy on my right ripped the hat off my hair, yanking the pins out, causing my hair to rip from the root. This time my screams echoed through the entire town, but another boy muffled the noise by shoving a piece of cloth into my mouth. My screaming turned into gags as I lost my breath. All I could do was cry when the eldest boy started ripping the strings of my corset off. The only thing I could do was close my eyes. Slowly, I didn't feel as many hands on me, but noises from the boys caught my attention. I crained my neck over my shoulder to try and see. But it was too dark. I could only see the bodies dropping to the ground, one by one. The boy holding me to the wall cursed and then he went down. My lip quivered as I slowly turned around. But I had no time to open my eyes before I was crushed against their body. But I didn't need to open my eyes, I knew just by the scent. Edward had saved me once again.

We were stumped. It was Sunday, Edward's day off from work. We were sitting outside on our bench, Edward swinging us back and forth while he rubbed my feet in his lap. We had suggested so many each, but none had popped out. Elizabeth warned us to pick a name for a little boy and a girl, but we both knew it was a girl. I just knew. Since I could not pass down Edward's name to a little boy, I wanted something to resemble his name for our baby girl. His eyes locked with mine, and it was like he could read my mind. The moment he suggested it, I knew it was the one. Our little Emily Marie.

My fingers caressed the mirror. This wasn't me. Her hair was too perfect and silky. Her skin was too pale and hard. Her eyes were too dead and cold. I shook my head. I didn't want this. I wanted to leave, to kill the people who made her. But I wasn't able to. I tried but I couldn't. I was too weak. And now I have power but had nothing to use it on. My fist connected with the haunting image in the mirror, smashing her to pieces. I stared at my fingers, my sobs echoing through out the cabin. I slid to the floor, gripping my hair. Nothing was okay. Nothing would ever be okay.

Everyone laughed as Rosalie read the card out loud. We all decided to play truth-or-dare while Esme was visiting Carlisle at work. I never understood the amusement in this game until we started playing an hour ago. That is- until Rosalie read my dare off the card. I had to dance for a person of choice. Of course Rose chose Edward. Alice insisted on re-dressing me, which basically meant un-dressing me. I ended up in a midnight blue lingerie set that consisted of a bra with long sleeves and underwear with a connected skirt on it. I would never forget the feeling that ran through me when Edward put his hands on my waist as I grinded on him. But then he removed his hands before anyone, (Tanya), could see. All we could do was wink and laugh at eachother.

Every single memory flashed through my closed eyes, like a movie playing against the black background. I couldn't stop them. Just recently, noises around me and the memories were mixing together. I couldn't tell what was what and who I am. Everything became so confusing. I could slowly start to feel the touches of those around, hear their whispered hellos and goodbyes. I didn't understand any of it.

But I know one thing. One person never left my side, holding my hand the entire time. I couldn't point out the specific person, but I know that they were always there. I tried moving my fingertips, to do anything, but I couldn't. I tried speaking, thinking, moving. Nothing. I couldn't accomplish anything. Until I removed my shield. The person gasped, which told me it was Edward, seeing as how he could read my mind. I still could not move or speak, but at least I'd be able to think and he could answer me.

_'Edward?' I_ thought, confused on how to have a conversation in my head with another person.

"Bella." In his voice I could hear the relief. "How are you feeling?"

_'I can't move. I can't speak. How long have I been out?'_

"You've been out for almost a two weeks." He whispered.

Two weeks? I had never had a blackout that lasted so long. The longest I had ever been out was nine hours. Focusing on something I could get an answer to, I didn't know why I could only hear him, no one else. _'Where's everyone at?'_

"They're at school right now. It's Thursday. Carlisle is at work and Esme went up to see him on his lunch break." He sounded so hesitant to talk, like he was hiding something. And he heard me think it. "I'm not hiding something. It's just...I'm confused on a certain subject."

_'Oh god, Edward. Stop talking like your not my bestfriend. What is it?'_

"Who is Emily?"

I tried. I really tried to block my thoughts from him, but it was so hard. Everything rushed back. Edward rubbing my stomach, James crushing her, feeling her last kick, packing away her baby clothes and blankets. Shit. Mother fucking shit.

"Wait-what?"

_'Nothing.' _Even through my thoughts he could hear my anger. '_I'd rather talk about it when I can open my eyes.'_

"Bella," his voice sounded strained. "I know how hard it must be for you to even...think of what had happened. And I do not even know what happened, but I can't tell you enough how deeply sorry I am."

_'Your wrong, Edward.' _I thought softly. _'You have no idea what it is like.'_

"Your right." He whispered. "There is so much that I have no clue about, but I want to help you."

'_You are so damn stubborn!' _I screamed in my head_. 'First, all you ever wanted to do was try and regain your memory back; to be able to remember me. In that process we made new memories and you became my bestfriend all over again. It seems like you've forgotten about those, too. Now lately all you've been doing is trying to make yourself fall in love with Tanya.'_

"That's not true." He whispered.

I pushed my shield, trying with my might to move it around my body and form a fit. It didn't take much strength at all to get ahold of my physical shield and loosen it from my body. As I did so, feeling formed in my toes and fingertips. My head slumped to the side and I hit my forehead from the sudden change. I twisted my feet and lifted my knees. I grunted from the effort it took to do this. I could still not feel my torso, and my bellybutton was only tingly. The moment my toes made contact with the cold tile on the floor, I forced my numb arms to push my butt off the bed. I could barely balance, needing the support of the wall and the bed to even hop off. Though I was able to move with my shield, my body was still in its 'sleep' mode. My body was standing upright and I had no control or feel over it; I was quite proud of myself.

Opening my eyes, the first thing I seen was Edward's wide, black eyes. He stared at me with an unreadable expression. I couldn't tell if he were overwhelmed or shocked at my turn of actions in two minutes. "You have no right to demand answers from me when you are the one who has to answer my questions."

Coming out of his shock, his eyebrows rose. "Questions? What are you confused over?"

"Do not act stupid, Edward!" I growled through my numb lips. "We all know that you do not love Tanya! You are only marrying her to try and live up to everyone's expectations of right and wrong."

He looked away and his hands clenched and unclenched in nervousness. "That's not why I'm going through with this marriage to Tanya. Before you, Alice, and Jasper showed up to our home, you have to think what was going on through my head. I am a monster, a killer. Never would I ever find a wife that would love me or a mate to spend my eternity with. I had lived a century and had not found anyone yet. So when Tanya came along and showed her interest, I settled for her. It wasn't even about pleasing anyone."

"But you never made a big deal out of trying to actually make it real before a few weeks ago. Why?" I whispered, my voice weaking from the strength it took to hold myself up. I could sit, and it would make more sense, but my pride wouldn't allow me to.

He stared at me for a few heavy moments before answering. "Because I realized if I had to live with it, why not make it as easy as possible? So I tried my best to bond with her as much as I could to get my mind off other things."

"Other things?" I croacked out.

His eyes flashed with intensity, the black shimmering. "You. You, Bella. All the things about you. I've tried so hard to conjure all of the past memories of you that I've formed new ones in the process. Memories that I never want to forget. And faking with Tanya was a way for me to try and forget how much I've been hurting you just by not remembering you."

"You are so..._ dumb. _I have no other way to put it. Edward, those memories will come to you. If they never will, then in time certain things you will just have to trust me to tell you. But don't use that as an excuse to marry Tanya."

His jaw tightened, a habbit that I've picked up on that tells me he will not be stubborn and not listen to a word I'm saying to him. He's blocking the world out. "There's no other reason for me _not _to."

"Me." I whispered so lowly that even I could barely catch it. "Me. Don't marry her for me."

"Why?" He breathed, staring at me with unwavering eyes.

So many answers to such a simple question; as always. But, as always, I could not give him the truth, which was because I love him and he loved me. But without him remembering anything, that point would never come across to him the way it should, and if I told him because I don't want him to, that would only confuse him. But I go with the latter.

"Because it's wrong. You don't love her, so why marry her?" That sounded okay.

"It doesn't matter if I don't love her. The whole point is that no one will ever love me, so why wait any longer?" His tone shifted and turned more icy, more defensive.

I gaped at him, anger and disbelief coursing through my body, taking over the numb feeling that overwhelmed me. "Why must you be so blind?" He seemed obnoxiously confused. "What about me, huh? Why not me?"

He didn't have time to even think over my words for I could hear someone running up to the house, and could smell it was Alice by the time she was walking into the room. I was suprised she was alone and everyone didn't come home with her.

"Edward," her eyes were piercing and hard. "I can take it from here. You need to leave, Tanya needs to speak with you. Everyone is at school, just go pick them up."

"But-" his objection fell short as Alice walked up to him. Her face held no emotion. Blank and fierce. Something I've only ever seen the first few years after our change. Edward was smart to leave as he did, giving me a longing glance on his way out.

Alice stood still until we could no longer hear the engine of Edward's volvo. My eyes slumped and Alice's tiny arms picked me up before I crumbled to the floor. I couldn't even feel as she ran me to my room, leaving Carlisle's office behind. I felt more secure in my own bedroom.

She layed me down and propped my head up with my pillows, laying next to me once she felt I was comfortable. Her hand found mind and she gripped it with all of her might, not letting go. "You shouldn't force yourself up like this. You weren't supposed to wake for another four hours. Your going to crash and put a dent in your shield."

I could no longer keep my eyes open, but I hoped that Alice could hear the 'I love you' I muttered before I totally slipped under. The last thing I could process was her tiny sobs echoing through out my head. I wasn't for sure if I had made it up or not, but I would ask when I woke up.

A gasp bubbled out of me as my body jolted awake. After waking from my blackouts, I feel more human than a vampire will ever feel. Every dead cell in my stone body tingles as I come back to 'life'. My hand tightened tightly around my blanket as my body slowed down. I waited impatiently for my instincts to settle back down before opening my eyes. Beside me, Alice laid quietly and waited for me to get myself back together, something she was used to doing. I turned myself around and crossed my legs on the bed, facing her.

I didn't know what was going through her head, but she spoke up just as I was about ask. "Bella. We finally did it. We finally killed those monsters. So tell me why it doesn't feel any different. Please."

It was times like this when I remembered that I was Alice's older sister. She was supposed to be able to look up to me. Edward and I had just turned eighteen when we were turned, but Alice had only _just _turned seventeen. So basically sixteen years old. Back in our time, Alice was mature for her age yet at the same time so innocent and naive. We had no worries. That was all taken away, and getting revenge wasn't going to be the thing to get it back.

I entertwined our fingers and held her hand in mine. Her tiny face crumpled under my gaze and her sobs choked their way free. I laid down next to her and hugged her close, putting her head on my chest. "Ali, that is something I will never have the answer to."

This only made her cry harder, and it took everything in me to not break down with her. But it's about time that Alice has someone to cry on. She can't always be the strong one. I simply rocked us back and forth and rubbed her back with my free hand. Downstairs, I could hear everyone occupying themselves to try and give us some privacy, but they knew damn well they were listening to every word. I didn't have it in me anymore to care.

Twenty two minutes and thirty seven seconds later Alice finally spoke again. "How did you do that earlier?"

I was confused. "Do what? Comfort you? I'm not that bad, am I?"

She giggled, vibrating my chest. Her fingers disconnected from mine and she sat up and positioned herself indian-style. I mirrored her and waited for her to answer me. "No, silly. I'm talking about making yourself wake up with your shield. It was so... amazing yet scary to see. Your body was still lifeless yet you were able to get up on will instead of your mind and body."

I shrugged. "I was pissed. My shield works much better when I'm angry."

Alice gasped. "That little shit told you about the wedding?"

Used to her cursing, I didn't even blink as she said those words. But several gasps echoed throughout the house from downstairs. I glared at the door, even though they couldn't see. Alice was still upset over something I didn't even know about. More wedding changes? _Fuck. _

"No, I know nothing about these new wedding changes." I muttered, trying not to give my mind a chance to overthink anything. I didn't want to think at all. Not about Tanya or Edward, or the last thing I did before my blackout.

"While you were sleeping,"Alice started, "Tanya decided to move the wedding date again. This time I can do nothing to help. She has already done everything."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "When is the wedding?"

"Tomorrow night."

"Wh-what?" I stuttered. Alice nodded her head angrily, slurs of cuss words falling off her lips in silence. Taking a deep breath, I decided what I wanted to do, something I've been debating over with myself for the past month. "That's okay."

"O-kay?" Alice said the word in confusion, seperating the word as she said it.

I nodded my head slowly. "Yes, because I have a plan."

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><p><strong>Alright guy, once again, sorry for the wait! <strong>

**1.) This story is almost over! ): **

**2.)I'm going to write a SEQUEL. YAY! :DD**

**xoxo~ Alana 3**


	10. Chapter 10

**Long time no update. Well, here it is. Hope it reaches expectations. Inspired by Taylor Swifts, 'Speak Now'. Listen to the song, it is great.  
><strong>

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><p>Alice and I called Rosalie upstairs the moment I told her about the plan. My shield covered us, so nobody had a clue as to what we were doing. Downstairs, Tanya was prepping everyone and getting everything ready by herself. The wedding itself was at a church about seventy miles north of here. All of the guests that she invited were meeting us there at six o'clock.<p>

We haven't left my room once, Alice explaining the entire story to Rosalie while they prepped me up for our plan. As Rosalie started on my hair, Alice was in my closet, making any adjustments to my dress as needed. Even though I was serious about this, my fingers were shaking slightly as my nerves kicked in. I closed my eyes tightly to fight back a blackout as my anxiety level skyrocketed.

"Bella," Rose shook me in a calming yet demanding way. "Take deep breaths. This will work. You are going to make him remember everything he forgot."

I met her eyes in the mirror as she worked her magic on the back of my hair with a large curling iron. "And if this is all for nothing? If he doesn't remember? If he doesn't feel he can love me without remembering?"

She spent a moment thinking over her words before answering me. "If Edward cannot remember his love for you, Bella, then he lost himself completely during his change. But he _has_ remembered bits and pieces of you, sweetie. Your job now is to fill in the holes and give him his memory back. Right now, if I know that boy like I know I do, he is scared. He doubts that you love him because he only knows of everything you two have shared since the beginning of summer. Once he remembers your love for him back then and his love for you then and now, he won't have any room for doubt."

"Exactly." Alice spoke up as she leaned against the door frame. "I can't see anything because this plan involves your shield, but their wedding is blurry."

"Which means that it's not set in stone?" Rose wondered aloud.

"Yes," I nodded. "Everything about it is shaky because of me. I am throwing everything off course."

"In a good way." Alice assured me.

I simply looked away from them, staring at myself in the mirror. Both of them caught onto my cue for them to shut up and got back to work. In the mirror, I watched Alice place my dress on the bed, and stared as a soft smile graced her beautiful face. In her own world, Alice was lost in a blur of memories. I could see it written on her face. It wasn't until she placed my accessories onto the bed that she spoke again, knowing I was watching her. "Momma would be so proud of you."

I turned my head, ignoring Rosalie's iron tugging at my hair. "Maybe, but not for what I'm about to do."

Alice looked up from a button that she was fixing on the dress. "Oh, Bella. You know that's not true."

I snickered, knowing she was right. Alice, always adapting to the latest pop songs while I opted for older music, put in a CD that she grabbed off of my desk. It must of been hers, because I had never seen it before. The cover said, 'Speak Now.' I listened curiously as she skipped the first few songs. The moment the right song was on, Alice squealed and stepped back.

"I am in love with this new song! I heard it while shopping the other day, and so I bought the CD. It's 'Speak Now', by Taylor Swift." She hummed to the catchy beat of the song, changing our tense atmosphere into a more light one. Soon, Rosalie was singing the words to it, playfully dancing as she finished up my hair.

"This song is just like my situation now." I mused as the chorus of the song rings loudly through my speakers.

"She also does the same thing your doing now." Rosalie giggled, a new sound from her I was still getting used to. I loved how open she was with me now. I laughed along with her, but inside my nerves were killing me.

It was only four o'clock, and we had another hour before we had to leave. Rosalie had finished my hair the same time Alice finished my makeup. Really, the only thing we had left to do was getting me dressed, but I wasn't putting anything on until I arrived since I was driving separate from everyone else. Having nothing else to do, we all walked downstairs to see everyone.

Tanya was running around with rollers in her hair, barking out orders. Emmett and Jasper sat on the couch, pitiful looks on their faces. Alice had told them to just go with the flow. They knew something was up, but didn't know what. Esme and Carlisle were standing on the other side of the room, speaking to each other in low voices. Edward was simply leaning against the wall with his headphones in and his eyes closed. I knew he could still hear us all, but it made me laugh that he was trying to tune Tanya's bitchiness. It was just another sign that he did not want to marry her.

"Oh, Alice!" Tanya groaned. "You have to help me with my hair while I'm doing my makeup."

"Sure thing." Alice said before she even thought it over. But I knew her mind, and I knew what she was going to do. Her hand brushed mine as she walked by, in her own way telling me that this was going to be good. Rosalie and I made eye contact and looked away to hide our grins.

I knew it was going to be a funny sight, everyone seeing me with my hair in long beautiful waves, and my makeup done so natural and bronzed it made me look like I was human with a pair of sweatpants and a tank top on. What a good combination. Way to look real sexy, Bella, good job. I internally groaned at myself.

"That's what your wearing to the wedding?" Emmett asked, a tone of jealousy in his voice. I laughed at him.

"Of course...not." I joked with him, laughing at his face. "But I am driving separate from you guys."

This perked Edward's attention, and he unplugged his i-pod and put it away. "Why? And may I add that you look beautiful."

If I could blush I would have, his oddly placed comment of worship making my insides tingle. "Thank you, and because I am driving everything that needs to go to the reception to the hall. I'm going to quickly set up and then meet everyone at the church."

"Then shouldn't you leave earlier than us, dear?" Esme asked from behind me, grabbing my shoulders. I smiled at her and winked.

"No, I have everything planned out."

Turning around to not reveal any emotion on my face, I quickly walked back upstairs, giving everyone the excuse of having to get ready. As soon as the door slammed behind me, I ran to my chest at the end of my bed, carefully opening it. I did nothing but stare into my chest full of memories, hoping to gain some sort of strength. My fingers wrapped around my necklace, and before I realized it, the chain was unclasped and I was putting my wedding ring back onto my left ring finger; where it belonged. I stood and placed my promise ring onto my right ring finger. Opening my jewelry box on my desk, I gently grasped my two beautiful earrings that I had worn on my wedding day. I was trying to recreate everything as perfectly as I could from the special night I had a century ago.

I stripped down to nothing as I stood in front of my full mirror, trying to give myself a mental pep-talk. I stared at the beautiful creature in the mirror as she stepped into the vintage, lace corset that shaped her body perfectly. Her fingers were shaky, the only hint of her true emotions.

Then everything fell into place. I stopped thinking of myself in third person- a habit I tend to use when nervous- and realized everything I am fixing to do today was for me. I was doing this for me, for Edward, for our relationship. Everything is real, and I'm only going to make it furthermore harder, but so worth it.

I quickly finished putting my undergarments on and threw on my silk rope. Everyone was getting ready to leave and I ran out my door to say bye. In truth, I needed to find reassurance from Alice one more time. Walking into the living room, I realized that Tanya was walking around the corner and was not as happy as she was earlier. I knew why the moment I registered her entire form.

Her hair was french braided three inches up her head , and it would have been pretty if not for the fluff ball in the back of her head. It was obvious that Alice had gone to town with Tanya, teasing her hair with a comb so much that it looked like the 80's puked over her head. If she wanted to, Tanya could quickly wash it out and re-do the whole thing in five minutes, but they cut time too short, and I have a feeling Alice planned more than she told me. It also could have been that Rosalie and Esme were on a constant role of telling Tanya how great she looked. I quietly scoffed under my breath and stood near Jasper as everyone piled in the living room.

"Are you sure it looks good?" Tanya asked, her fingertips lightly running over her 'fluff'. "It's not too puffy?"

"Of course not!" Alice waved her hand dismissively. "My mother did Bella's hair just like this for her wedding, too. It runs in the family."

It certainly did _not._ But I said nothing when both Tanya and Edward snapped their heads to stare at me. I stared Tanya in the eye, giving her a tight grin. She simply back up a step and gripped Edward's hand, wiping the smirk off my face. Bitch. Feeling Edward's hard stare, I realized I was only in my silk robe with my corset underneath.

"You were married?" Tanya raised her eyebrows in a mockery tone, obviously finding it humorous.

"Yes, I was." I said, not giving any details. I should have known she wasn't going to stop with one question.

"Did he marry someone better once he thought you died?" Esme gasped but otherwise kept her scold to herself. I did not, though.

"No." I smiled sweetly to her. "He married a whore."

It was a slight lie, if you read into my words deeply, seeing as how Edward hasn't married her yet. I planned on keeping it that way. My love is not going to marry a whore when he can be happy with me. I can give him memories, care, love. I can give him his mate. Happiness. I will give him everything he ever wants and needs. Forever.

First I have to stop their wedding.

Everyone chuckled, knowing that I insulted Tanya to her face without her knowing. She simply turned her nose up and rushed out of the house, barking at Edward to follow her. I relaxed the moment she left the house, but my anxiety spiked when everyone else started leaving, too.

Esme kissed my cheek on her way out, giving me a hopeful smile. Carlisle simply kissed my forehead and followed his mate. Emmett mock punched my shoulder and winked at me. I wished I could be as care free as him sometimes, almost like a bird. No worries. Rose gave me a tight hug, promising that everything will be okay. The only ones left in the room were Edward, Alice and Jasper. Jasper grinned at me before walking out, leaving me in the arms of my sister.

"You look beautiful." Those were all the words I needed. She smiled brightly at me and tapped her forehead, winking and dashing out after Jaz. The horn outside honked, and I rolled my eyes. I could hear Tanya complaining about Edward still being in here.

I met Edward's eyes, walking forward to stand in front of him. His expression looked heartbroken, and I couldn't help but put my hand upon his cheek. He leaned his head against it, his eyes never leaving mine, not blinking once out of habit. "I'm trying."

I smiled softly, rubbing his cheek once again. "I know."

"I just- I can't." His voice broke off and I dropped my hand from his cheek, missing the contact already. "The memories just won't come to me."

"When you see me today, they will." I took a step back and motioned from him to get going out of the door. Someone- Tanya- honked the horn again. "Trust me. Now get going before blondie rips your hair out."

"It won't be _his_ hair!" I heard her hiss from outside.

"Listen bitch-" I cut myself off, clenching my fist. She was grating on my last nerve. "Never mind. Just get going, Edward. I'll see you at the church."

I ran up to my room the second Edward sat into the car. I waited until I heard the car turning onto the freeway to actually get ready. I swiftly ran over to my shelves and grabbed my most treasured picture album and walked over to my bed with it. I flipped through the pages and collected the photos I wanted to show Edward.

I grabbed one of him and I a few weeks after we had met. We were standing side by side in our church clothes, my hair and makeup done for once; I hated getting girly as a human. I grabbed another one of him, Alice, and I at another one the Masen's balls. That time Edward and I were promised and everyone knew of it. I grabbed another one from our wedding day, and my throat became tight when I looked at it. We looked beautiful, so _happy._ We were gazing at each other with so much devotion, so much tenderness. In all of my memories we had to have constant contact, always touching. I sobbed quietly when I picked the last picture. Alice had taken it one of the days she slept over at our house. Edward was sitting on our porch swing with me between his legs. Our hands were laced together and resting on my swollen belly. This was days before the epidemic broke out. We were happy here. Everything was so perfect.

I collected the pictures and carefully placed them on the bed while I got dressed. Stripping off the robe, I held up my beautiful wedding dress and stepped into it. I didn't dare look into the mirror just yet. I hastily, but gently, clasped all of the buttons that ran up my back. My hands softly felt the silk that clung to my body perfectly and I felt as small hysterical smile creep onto my face. Edward was fast to shed this the night of our honey moon.

Without glancing up, I grabbed my beautiful satin shoes and stepped into the comfortable heels. My dress still touched the floor, but not enough to trip over- not that I would trip anyway. Taking a deep breath, I finally looked into the mirror.

Soft and sweet. Curvy and sexy. Gently yet fierce. There was really no combination to describe what I was seeing at the moment. I took a step closer, wanting to touch the angel. Her hand crept up, too. With a start, I looked down at my body. This is _me._ I was beautiful, mesmerizing. I've never felt this; not since being human. Sure, I knew I was extremely sexy and guys drooled over me. This, though, this was angelic. My face was made up to look soft like a human but fierce like a vampire. Alice had left contacts for me on my vanity; I quickly put them in.

Over my golden eyes, the contacts formed a pretty brown, somewhat the color of my eyes when I was human. It was all part of my plan for Edward to remember me and not marry Tanya. The more I looked like my human self, the more I would trigger his human memories. The dress and everything from our own wedding was to help trigger his memory, and a little bit for theatrical purposes.

Not wanting to over think anything, I grabbed my pictures and raced outside into Alice's Porsche. Careful of my dress, I threw myself into the car and set all of my items onto the passenger seat.

I sped the car away from the house, quickly driving towards the freeway. I pushed the car to it's speed limit as soon as I was on the freeway, trying to quickly catch up with the others. After two minutes of driving, I could see the two cars ahead. I knew that Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle, and Esme were in the Jeep while Alice, Jasper, Tanya, and Edward were in the Volvo. The Jeep was in front of the Volvo in the left lane. I sped towards them, slowing down once I was behind them. I grabbed my phone and text Alice, who I could see in the backseat with Jasper.

_I'm on your six_- I text her. Not five seconds later, her head popped up and she looked over the seat. I waved to her and smiled when she winked. Our plan was finally getting somewhere. The rest of the drive was relatively quick, and no one realized I driving behind them due to my shield.

When we all arrived to the church, there were many guests already inside. All of them were vampires; I could smell them. Tanya rushed inside, everyone following after. Alice followed, too, after blowing me a kiss and an encouraging smile. I stayed inside my car until every guest arrived and was out of the lobby. I could hear Tanya and Alice in the dressing room that was in the lobby, along with her sisters, Kate and Irina. Neither of them seemed like they were all that excited about today, which didn't surprise me. Emmett had told me that Kate was actually pretty cool to hang out with. At the time I couldn't believe it, but now realizing how different the two girls were, she seemed pretty blunt and down to earth.

After ten minutes, Alice was walking Tanya out of the room, and into the corridor that the actual ceremony was taking place. I carefully got out of the car, grabbing my pictures as I did so. My shield was up, so no one could hear or see me approaching. Walking into the lobby of the huge church. The music was starting to ring loudly throughout the entire church, knocking through my soul.

The shock of what I was actually planning to do froze me for a moment. What if Edward chooses her? What if he could care less? Will he remember? Can he break everything off? My pain and longing was replaced with determination. It didn't matter if he didn't want me. The very last thing I would do was to get him away from Tanya. My Edward deserved better, and if he so happens to want me to, then it will also make me happy.

But it wasn't the time to worry about that now.

Because right in front me, I stopped at a set of large, wooden double doors. I could hear from the Priest's words that Tanya had made her way down the isle, and they were now starting. Right on cue, the Priest spoke the words I've been waiting for.

"If any man can show just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter for ever hold his peace."

Taking a deep breath, I dropped my shield from myself and rounded my shoulders, slamming both doors open as I crashed their wedding. I immediately sought of Edward's eyes, wide with shock and anguish.

"I object."

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><p><strong>So? You like? I hope that was okay, it was very difficult to try and portray through words. Review your thoughts and some ideas for the next few chapters! <strong>

**xoxo- Al. **


	11. Chapter 11

**I can't even begin to explain how sorry I am. I know, it has been months since I've updated. Writer's block is a bitch. So... I hope this chapter has lived up to expectations, and just know that I have decided to not continue on with a sequel. I'm simply going to finish this story in probably three more chapters and that's it.**

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><p>"Bella?" Edward breathed, his mouth agape.<p>

Every single being in the church froze, except for Alice. Even Rose froze, her eyes wide as she took in my appearance. But I wasn't here to worry about what everyone else thought. I was here to get Edward to realize how big of an ass move he is about to make. I took a few steps forward, a smirk pulling over my lips to hide how nervous I really am. This sent Tanya out of her shock.

"What the fuck?" She screeched, looking ridiculous in her mermaid style dress. Her lips were a bright pink, which made her look like a real barbie. Enter internal shudder. I raised my eyebrow, my smirk growing at her obvious flustered state.

"What does it look like?" I asked, my voice loud in the silent church. "I'm crashing your wedding."

"Do you have just cause for your objection, Miss... ?" The priest Tanya had marrying them looked over at me.

"Mrs." I corrected. "Mrs. Isabella Masen. And I object because the groom is my husband."

I looked into Edward's eyes, ignoring the gasps around me. Whispers broke out through the crowd of obnoxious people Tanya invited. His face, if possible, had paled even further. His eyes were searching mine, looking for any sign of a lie. I smiled at him, this time a true smile. I could tell that this wouldn't be enough to falter him from his shocked state, and Alice knew, too.

"It's true, Edward." Alice spoke up, standing up. "Bella is your wife."

"That's crazy!" Tanya yelled, her angry eyes moving between all three of us. "Edward?"

Edward glanced up, taking his eyes off of me for the first time. His lip quivered, but I couldn't tell if he remembered anything at all. I lifted my mental shield for him to read my mind, giving him my memories. I thought of the day he asked me to marry him, the planning we all went through, his mother giving me my ring, our actual wedding day. I stopped after that, not wanting to think of the night after, which was too painful to remember when he was at the alter with another woman.

I opened my eyes and met Edward's wide, golden ones. I could tell he was putting the pieces together; the hints I've dropped and odd comments that Alice and I have shared. His eyes glanced down at my dress, the same one from the memories. I took a few steps forward, liifting my hand up.

"Look," I commanded gently. "Your mother gave me her own ring, which I had never taken off. I've kept it on a chain around my neck for almost a century."

His gaze lingered on my ring for another second before meeting my eyes again. I tuned into Tanya's bitching, her whiny pleas. "Eddie, come on. Kick her out, she is ruining our wedding! You _won't_ leave me, understand? Your mine!"

I could feel my eye twitch from the need to slap her, but I pushed it away, instead narrowing my eyes. "I didn't come here for Edward to leave with me. If he wants to, that is his choice, one he will make on his own. But no, I only came here to stop this wedding. As his best friend, I cannot let Edward make this mistake. You don't deserve to marry him, and he sure as hell should not be with you."

"How dare you?" She hissed, stepping off of her step, trying to be menacing; I couldn't take her serious with that pink lipstick on. "Your a lying whore, trying to take away something you can't have. Well get over yourself, because-"

"Tanya. _Enough._" His voice sent tingles down my spine, and I looked up to see his murderous glare. Lucky for me, it wasn't pointed at me.

She spun around, instantly putting on a fake pout. "But Eddie!"

"Good god, enough of the Eddie shit!" Rose growled, walking to stand beside Alice, who was looking into the future. Crap, I really wanted her reassurance. My uneasiness was quickly replaced with confidence. I smiled at Jasper quickly before turning to look back at Edward.

His questioning eyes were on me. I slowly walked towards him, but Alice's voice stopped me in my tracks. "In doesn't matter, does it? You don't care either way!"

My heart broke at her words. Of course! Nothing I could do would stop him, why would it? Sarcasm much. My throat tightened, and a burning sensation was quickly coming out of my nose and spreading throughout my body. I hate crying in this body. I threw the envelope in his direction that held all of the pictures inside, not wanting to embarrass myself any further.

I pulled my shield back, needing to say one more thing.

_'You wanted to know who Emily is? And why she is so important to me? She was our daughter.'_

With that, I ran out of the church, but not before hearing both him and Alice screaming my name, telling me to stop. Too late; I was already gone. I jumped into my car, pulling my shield around it so no one could see or hear it. I drove faster, needing to get away from the source of my pain, my sobs the only thing leaving a trail of where I came from.

When the reminder became too much, I stopped the car to take my wedding dress off. I stripped down to nothing but my undergarments and put on the clothes I had in my trunk. Lucky for me, I have a fashionista for a sister who insists on keeping extra sets of clothes in every car. I put on a pair of sweat pants and a tank top, braiding my hair back. I didn't care what I looked like, I'd be in the car the whole time.

I drove past legal limits, my car one of the only ones on the freeway at one in the morning. Driving wasn't the issue, it was the silence. With silence comes thinking. And thinking was the last thing I wanted at the moment. I couldn't focus on one thought at a time. They all jumbled together, clouding my sanity. I groaned, tightening my grip on the steering wheel. I cursed as I dented the entire wheel, loosening my hold on it.

I know he remembered something, I could see the realization on his face as he looked at me. But what did he realize? Who I was, or who he wanted to be with? I thought for sure that the moment he remembered me and Emily, he would choose me. We were meant to be together, so why did it not matter to him? Why had Alice not done something? Why did Tanya always win? What did she have that I didn't? Didn't he care about our baby, or want to know the story on how we lost her? Maybe he chose her because he blames me for her death. After all, it was my fault.

None of that mattered, though. What mattered was the fact that he did choose her, and I can't sit back and watch him do it. After another hour of driving, I could tell where I was going as I drove past a 'Welcome to Illinois' sign. I was forced to slow down as I entered Chicago limits, but my car automatically went towards the graveyard.

My body felt like it was on auto pilot as I walked towards the graves. Our family were all in a secluded area, Alice wanting our visits to be in private. It was like a meadow, but only outlined with trees and flowers. The rest was covered in snow. It seeped through my boots, but I didn't care. The harsh winds blew my hair all around, but I didn't notice as I sat down next to the grave.

_Emily Marie Masen._

_Not stepped foot on earth, yet always in our hearts._

_ Loved and cherished for all of eternity._

Alice had to make the grave while I was too upset to do anything. She held me here in this exact spot for hours, days even, while I cried and cursed the world for taking her. All of my emotions that I've bottled up since moving in with the Cullens suddenly came out, and I was thankful that Alice had the grave in the back with nobody near for a few miles.

I growled through my sobs, running and ripping a tree from it's roots, tossing it aside like trash. I rampaged, kicking and screaming to try and feel better. It didn't work. Maybe this is God's plan for me. Was I supposed to hurt so much because I lived while my baby didn't? Was I supposed to hurt this bad? I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

Through my angry haze, I could faintly hear many foot steps surrounding me. They were on all sides of the clearing, trapping me inside of them. Maybe it was my time to die. I walked to the center, my shoulders slumping with the effort. My sobs were wracking my entire body, my legs giving out under me from shaking so bad.

"Just kill me." I whispered, wanting it to all end.

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><p><strong>******* (EPOV) *******<strong>

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><p>'<em>You wanted to know who Emily is? And why she is so important to me? She was our daughter.'<em>

I gasped, and suddenly, my head was filled with memories, except it wasn't from Bella's head. They were my own. Every touch, every smile, every kiss, every moment I shared with Bella I could remember. Her being my best friend, my wife, my lover, my other half, the mother to my child... It all came back to me.

Joy spread throughout my body as I remembered everything about my life that has been missing. But then reality hit, and the death of our child, the pain Bella has been going through, the obstacles she has surpassed just to exist, it all hit me hard. I cried out in pain as I watched Bella run out of the church in her beautiful dress.

"Bella!" I screamed, and Emmett grabbed me before my knees could hit the floor. "Bella!"

"Bella..." My sister called, but it was useless. She was gone. "This is my fault."

"Why would you say that it didn't matter, Alice?" I asked through my cries. "I remembered everything, I was going to tell her that."

"I was speaking to Tanya, but she misunderstood and figured that I meant you." Alice explained, tugging on her short hair. Jasper grabbed her hand and kissed her head, instantly calming her down.

"You," Rosalie seethed, stepping forward, her dark eyes set on Tanya. "You need to be dealt with."

Carlisle put his hand out and stopped Rose from lunging for her neck. "Now is not the time. We need to find Bella and put her out of her misery before she hurts herself. We have no clue what will happen if she has a blackout by herself."

"I do." Alice muttered. "She will wake up in a rage and go on a killing rampage."

I took in a deep breath. There was so much I had no clue about. So much that I had to make up for. So much pain I had to deal with and push through. But first I had to find Bella.

"Let's go then." I urged, taking off down the isle. Tanya stepped in my way and stopped me before I could move, though. "Move, Tanya."

"No. You're not leaving me, Eddie. You're mine." She hissed, putting her hand on my chest. I cringed, restraining myself from hitting her.

"He said move, bitch." Rosalie hissed, pushing her away from me, throwing her into the wall on the other side of the church. She turned to me, arching an eyebrow. "What? She had to be dealt with."

I simply nodded my head and ran out of the church, making my way to the SUV. I was going to hop into the drivers seat, but Alice pushed me out of the way. "No, Jasper will drive. He will know where exactly we're going."

"And you do know?" I asked, hope in my voice as I jumped into the middle row in the car. Emmett, Rosalie, and Esme sat in the backseat while Carlisle sat next to me. Jasper took off out of the parking lot with Alice in the passenger side.

"Yes. I know she wouldn't have gone to the main land house. It would be too obvious. Bella is in pain, and feels alone and hurt." I flinched at Alice's words, guilt eating at my heart. "She went to Chicago."

"What is in Chicago?" Emmett asked.

It was me who answered, instead of Alice. "Emily."

The entire ride to Chicago was filled with tension, and the occasional sniffle from Esme or Alice. The pain that consumed me would have swept me off my feet the moment I realized just how much pain Bella has gone through. Everything suddenly makes sense. Her odd behavior at times, her panic attacks, the way she would get lost in her thoughts constantly. Everything added up in a sick way. Bella shouldn't have had to deal with all that grief, at least not on her own. I thank whatever god above us that she had Alice and Jasper with her.

The closer we got to Chicago, near the cemetery, my nerves and pain heightened. Jasper swerved the car multiple times before he could numb the pain with his gift. His gift wore of, however, the moment our car was pulling into the cemetery. He drove past the lot of cars, and took a sharp turn onto a concealed path in the woods. I was out of the car before he even put it in park. My family followed, and without a moment of hesitation we took off to find Bella.

"She's going to be in bad shape." Alice warned as we ran.

"How bad?" Esme asked, almost scared for the answer. Her thoughts were frantic as she feared the worst for her newest daughter. Alice simply gave her a look that worsened her fears.

In the distance, I could hear my loves heart wrenching sobs. She screamed, and we could all hear, let alone feel, as she ripped and tore trees from the ground. The thoughts around me became more frantic, and I didn't even have the strength to block them out any longer. We all sped up our speed, our feet not even making indents in the snow. As we approached the large meadow, I motioned for my family to spread out and surround the entire perimeter. I met my baby sister's eyes, and she gave me a tight hug before running off to her side.

I kept running forward, my eyes burning as Bella finally came into view. She was pulling at her hair, painful sobs shaking her entire body. Her knees gave out, and I knew that she could hear us all, but it seemed as though she simply gave up. I forced myself to contain my own sobs as I watched her tiny body fold in on itself.

"Just kill me!" She spoke out, anguish and defeat in her voice.

I stepped into view, away from the shadows of the trees. Her eyes met mine as she finally looked up.

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><p><strong>Okay, please no negative reviews, unless it is a suggestion to help.<strong>

**Please, review for suggestions on ideas for this story. Thanks!**

**xoxo, Lana.**


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